Page 44 of Two Friends in Marriage
When he shifts to the side, my heart sinks.Oh God, he’s realized what he’s doing and…
He sets his glasses on the coffee table and returns to kissing me, his arms encircling my back.I smile in relief against his lips.Experimentally, I touch my tongue against his.He makes a soft moan in the back of his throat, unlike any sound I’ve heard from him before.It spurs me on.I slide a hand into his hair and tug lightly; he likes that, too.
Evan and I have spent a ton of time together lately, but there are so many things that we haven’t done, and I desperately want to do them all.It’s wonderful to have an outlet for all the feelings swirling around in me.I can’t put anything into words right now, but kissing?I can manage that.
He squirms against me, and when I feel his erection against my thigh, I freeze.It’s such an unfamiliar sensation.I mean, this is all so unfamiliar, but for some reason, that’s what reminds me of what I’m doing.
I’m having a hot make-out session with my husband, and this was never part of the deal.Casual touches, a kiss on the forehead—sure.But not this.
I look down at Evan, slightly disheveled below me on the couch.His glasses off, his hair mussed, his lips kiss-swollen.I want to see those lips between my legs, before he…
I glance at the TV, where the show is still playing.Actually, I think it jumped to the next episode.Why are they in the woods?What happened?I have no idea.
“I have to go to the washroom,” I say, then run upstairs before he can speak.
I stay in my room so I don’t see Evan again that evening.At eleven thirty, as usual, I turn out the light, but nothing else about this seems usual.
I kissed him.
He kissed me back.
And it made me want him, physically, even more than before.
Has he been with anyone else since we got married?He’s allowed to do that, but I find myself hating the idea.I’m not sure when he’d have the time, though.On weekdays, he rarely goes out, except for his walks—though it’s possible he’s hooking up with a neighbor, I suppose.On the weekends, I always know what he’s doing if he’s not with me.
I toss and turn, all sorts of confusing thoughts racing through my mind.
Eventually, at one in the morning, I flip on the light and read negative reviews of classic novels in an attempt to distract myself.I’m about to turn out my light again when I hear Evan moving about.Is he unable to sleep, too?
My body gets foolishly excited at the thought of him coming to my room and continuing what we started earlier, though I know he won’t do that.He probably just got up to use the washroom.
But I don’t hear the toilet flush.
The next morning, I push myself harder than usual on the elliptical machine, despite getting only three hours of sleep.
When I head back downstairs after my shower, the coffee is done but not poured, and Watson is wearing the same red beret as yesterday.Such little things, yet fear creeps up my spine.This isn’t our usual weekday routine.
Did I break my marriage?
Chapter 14
Evan
WhenIreturndownstairs,I remove the beret from Watson’s head and put some Mardi Gras beads around his neck.I look up and note with a jolt that Jane is already outside, mug in hand.Owing to my poor night’s sleep, I was a little late getting out of bed this morning, but she’s outside at the same time as usual, and I feel guilty that she had to pour her coffee.
After grabbing a mug, I head to the backyard and take a seat.“Good morning.”
She sips her coffee and gives me a nod.
“I’m sorry,” I say.
“I can get my own coffee.It’s fine.”Her voice has a strange edge to it, and I swear there are dark circles under her eyes, even if she still looks lovely.I try not to stare at the lips that I kissed last night.
When I apologized, was it about the coffee or about something else?I don’t even know.
I mean, I’m not exactly sorry about kissing her back…unless she regrets the whole thing.Then I’m sorry.But I don’t know what’s happening, and she doesn’t give me any insight.This is the first time I’ve seen her since she ran upstairs nearly twelve hours ago.
That kiss…
