Page 17 of Deranged
Field shrugged. “When we left, we didn’t have anything, obviously. All we had was the money we picked from the dead guards before we left. When we found this little store, we were all starved. I saw this huge jar of peanut butter. While I didn’t know what it was, I saw it was made from actual peanuts, and I knew peanuts had protein. My logic was to buy the most filling thing with the tiny amount of money I had. Then I tasted it, and I’d never had anything sweet. I was in heaven. Now I always keep a jar with me. If anything goes down, I won’t starve, and I’ll always know what freedom tastes like.”
He broke Henry’s heart. Henry turned and moved to where one leg was behind Field, and the other was tossed over his legs. Not only did he want to hold Field, but he also didn’t want Field to escape. “I can give you freedom.”
A laughing gaze shot his way. “Was that your way of dumping me?”
Henry realized it had kind of sounded like that. “That’s not what I meant. You know I’m not good with words, so bear with me through me painfully failing, okay?”
“Okay.”
“I love you.”
Field’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh, you’re crazy crazy. Not just regular insane, but like deranged.” Field shrugged. “That’s good, though, since I love you too.”
Henry knew that. Field loved everyone. “Good. That matters to me. I know you were pretty drugged out of your mind last night, but you said you’d choose me.”
Field leaned his way and stole a quick kiss. “Drugged or not, I always know what I’m saying and doing. Drug resistance was part of my training.”
Damn. Was there anything that hadn’t happened to him? How was he still standing? He refused to treat Field like he was anything less than normal, no matter what. He deserved that. “Do you think—” Shit, here he went. Henry had to pull it together. Field was owed a man who knew his mind. “I think you should marry me.” He held up his hand to stop Field from saying no before hearing him out. “If we’re married, I don’t think your friends would feel betrayed by you staying. I doubt they expect you to leave your husband behind.”
Field waited for him to stop talking and then waited a moment longer. “Are you done?”
“Yes.” He sounded like his nerves were stretched because they were.
“Do you want to marry me, or is this all about my brothers?”
Henry hated that it had come out sounding that way. He leaned back enough to get his hand inside his pocket to dig out the ring box he had carried with him for the last three days.
“Several times, in the past few days, I’ve tried to ask, but then the words kept getting jumbled in my head.” He opened the box and passed it to Field. “But then you said your brothers talked about leaving, and suddenly, the right words didn’t matter as much. As long as you say yes, I don’t care how I managed it. I just want to keep you.”
Field snagged the collar of Henry’s shirt and lured him in for a kiss. Henry felt too many things at once. He really never thought anyone could steal his heart the way Field had. Sometimes, he wondered if he should apologize to Mickey. The months he had been with Field made him realize this wasn’t what he had felt for Mickey. If Mickey felt like this about Edge, Henry had no right to say shit. He would kill anyone who tried to come between Field and him. No mercy would be shown.
Field lips shaped into a smile against Henry’s lips. “I told you you’d be my daddy.”
A chuckle rumbled from Henry. “How about we settle on me being your husband?”
“In.”
Damn. He really hadn’t known a person could feel so much happiness. For the first time in his life, Henry felt like he saw a future.
Field couldn’t stop staring at the ring on his finger. Henry had gone to make sure everyone was on their rounds and had shown up at shift change. Field sat on the edge of his bed and tried not to think about what he had doomed Henry to. He hadn’t told anyone. Not that Field had seen anyone since Henry slipped a ring on his finger. Field wanted to be ecstatic. In a lot of ways, he was. Henry had said he loved Field. That was absolutely wild. Since the first time Field saw Henry, he had been obsessed. Not once did he honestly think he would end up here. No one in their right mind would want Field. Henry must be nuts. Field wasn’t dumb, though. He wouldn’t let Henry get away. Field was just scared shitless he would destroy everything. After all, that was what he was programmed to do.
The bedroom door opened. Henry strolled in, looking sexy as fuck. A hint of guilt hit Field. Henry had this amazing home, and he spent every night with Field in his tiny bedroom. He wondered how long Henry would tolerate Field’s cowardice. Field had to stay near someone who knew how to get through to him when an episode hit. He had been lucky enough for Henry not to witness one since the night before their first night together. It had been months since he suffered that big of a setback. Field felt it coming, though. If Austen hadn’t druggedhim last night, it likely would have been a bad night. He was scared to go to sleep now. Field didn’t want to ruin them.
Henry looked entirely too serious as he crossed the room. He straddled Field and toppled him backward. “Let me see that ring finger.”
Field dutifully held up his left hand.
Henry kissed the ring Field wore before moving to lick the inside of Field’s wrist.
Damn. Henry made him feel… safe. He hadn’t truly put a label on his many emotions since Henry took over his life, but he saw it all now. Henry made him feel like he was someone different. He was just some normal guy with a strong, protective lover. Field got to forget himself and live in the moment. He felt the way he imagined he would if he had grown up as part of everyday society and then met Henry. Henry let him clear his mind and just love. Life was beautiful in moments just like this.
Henry’s lips moved from Field’s wrist to the soft part at the bend of his arm. He kept going until he made it to Field’s shoulder. Only after he nibbled Field’s neck did he finally move to Field’s mouth. His heart overflowed.
“I love you.” Field whispered the words between kisses. They were out there now, and he couldn’t stop them from bursting from his heart.
Henry went to work, peeling off Field’s shirt. “I love you too.”
Field tried to keep his mind clear every time he was unclothed in front of Henry. He knew Henry already knew what he looked like and wanted him anyway. It was mental. He had a hard time pretending to be healed when the past was on display.
