Page 37 of Knight
The bed shifted and I realized that she had brought her hand up to wipe her nose. She was trying her hardest, but I knew she could no longer hold back.
“I’m not the same little girl. That’s the thing, Knight,” she said but still refused to roll over and look at me. “I’m not a little girl at all. I can take care of myself. I know how the world is. I’m not naïve or blind. I’m twenty-one and I’ve been doing it on my own for three years now. And you—you aren’t the same carefree boy that didn’t even have to be around me to know I was upset. The same one that brought me treats to try and cheer me up. You’re older and harder and sometimes I look at you and don’t even see the same person.
“I thought that if we could have some sort of new friendship that I could still be close to you. But I don’t even know who I’m trying to get close to. So, I think I was right when I said we should leave the past in the past, but I think that theuspart should stay there, too.”
“If that is what you think is best.” What else could I say to that? Really? I mean there were a million things running through my brain. A million emotions punching me in the chest.
“Let’s just make it through this year. For my dad’s sake because it will be one less thing for him to stress about. Once I graduate, I can move out and we won’t have to worry about it anymore.”
With that, she snuggled down further into the comforter. The conversation was over. She didn’t want to talk anymore.
A heavy sigh pushed its way out of my lungs as I tried to find the strength to move. I thought that if I had her closer, just let her in a little, that it would be enough for both of us. But it seemed that I had fucking gotten it wrong again.
