Page 31 of Knight
The next hour I spent doing both our hair and makeup. I gave Tara a heavy smoky look while I chose to go with a more cat-eye look. Her hair was down and it fell just past her shoulders after I put some loose waves in it. I decided to give myself big curls and then pulled it up into a high ponytail. Even when it was all up it was still long enough to lay over my shoulder. I tried to remember the last time I’d actually gotten it cut. It had to have been right before the end of last semester. Maybe it was time for a change. As I looked into the mirror, though, I knew I’d never do anything drastic.
I’d tried to cut my hair short a few times in my life. When I say tried, I meant I went to the salon with the intention of getting it lobbed off, only to lose the nerve at the last minute. I knew why. The long hair made me feel closer to my mom. The years I did have with her were filled with too many wonderful memories to count. One of my favorite things was when she would brush my hair and put it up. She always took her time making it look perfect, even if it was just a simple ponytail.
“I think we’re ready,” I said shaking myself out of my walk down memory lane.
“I don’t even look like myself,” Tara said, her eyes still glued to her reflection in the mirror, where she’d been for at least the last five minutes. I let out a little laugh.
“Yes, you do. You look amazing.”
“Yeah, okay. Let’s do this,” she said as she blinked and stood up tall.
We walked through the apartment giggling like school girls. I wasn’t planning on drinking all that much but I didn’t even want to chance it, so we both decided it would be best to call a cab.
“The fuck?” The deep, angry growl rang out from behind us right before we made it to the door. I wasn’t even aware that Knight was in the apartment, I hadn’t heard him come in. Then again, I had been kind of wrapped up in getting ready.
As I turned to face him, I realized that maybe I should have thought this through a little better. Sure, there was a part of me that knew he wouldn’t be too happy about the fact that I didn’t tell him that I was going out. But hey, I was a big girl, I had the right to do what I wanted when the fuck I wanted to.
“Um, Gwen,” Mouse said as he shot up from the couch and put his hand on Knight’s chest as if he was trying to hold him back or snap him out of whatever insanity he was about to unleash. “Where ya going?” His tone was light and almost playful, but I could tell it was only because he was trying to cut the angry tension rolling off of Knight in waves.
“We’re going out,” I said with a tight smile.
I wasn’t in the mood to deal with overprotective watchdogs. I felt a tinge of regret calling them that, but at the same time…come on. I just needed one night of freedom. One night where I could go out without one of them lurking around. One night to let my hair down, so to speak, and have fun without eyes on me.
“Fuck no,” Knight said, his stance rigid and his chin dipped down as his eyes pinned me in place. The muscles in his arms and shoulders were tight and twitched with every breath he took. He looked ready for a fight. The look in his eyes felt like he was ready to tear something apart. A shiver overtook my body and I couldn’t stop my skin from prickling. “Not like that, you’re fucking not.”
“Knight,” Mouse said in a deep whisper. But his words weren’t going to stop either of us.
I was tired of whatever this was between us and I wasn’t the type of girl to bow the fuck down and give in. I was a bit hot-headed at times. This was one of those times and as my body flushed with an angry heat, I opened my mouth and didn’t hold back.
“Who the hell do you think you are?” I barked, not giving a shit who was around to watch this car crash happen. “You aren’t my father.” My feet took me closer to him with each word I said. “You aren’t my fucking keeper, because in case you haven’t noticed, Knight, I’m a big girl and I can take care of myself. It’s not like you would know, though. Is it? It’s not like you’ve been around the last seven years, and you stopped giving a shit about me before that. I’ve made it this long without you watching over me, no need to fucking start now.”
Holy shit! Maybe I’d been holding it all in for far too long. However, I never wanted it to come out this way, with me red-faced and shaking in front of other people. But he’d pushed me. He had no right to say that, to make me feel like a fucking child and scold me with not so much as an ounce of care for how it made me feel.
“This isn’t back home. I’m not your world anymore, Knight.” I blinked the tears back. “I haven’t been yours for a long time, either.”
His body jerked as if I’d hit him. His face went through a rainbow of emotions in a matter of seconds. Anger. Rejection. Hurt. They were all there and more. I felt sorry for a half of a second but it wasn’t like I could take the words back. I hadn’t said them to be mean. I had only spoken the truth of how I’d felt for so long.
His Adam’s apple bobbed with a hard swallow and regret swirled in his blue eyes.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered as I whirled around and bounded for the door. Between the heels and how shaky my legs were, I was amazed I made it out the apartment without collapsing. Tara was hot on my heels and when the door shut behind us I let out a shaky breath.
“You alright?” she asked softly as she put her hand on my shoulder.
“Yes,” I said not sounding convincing even a little. “Let’s go have some fun.”
I straightened my spine and walked away from the apartment—from Knight—with some sort of new resolution. What that was? I didn’t know quite yet.
I was suddenly grateful for the ride waiting outside because I now had it in my head that I would be drinking this night away.
I did my best to shake off my bad mood. Tara didn’t deserve to get the shitty part of me. This night was my idea and it took a good amount of convincing and promising a fun time for her to agree to come out.
“Okay, so um, where to first?” she asked as we stood on the corner where we’d been let out.
My head turned as I took in the surrounding buildings. I had no idea. I wasn’t familiar with anything and this was my first time being in the downtown area, which as Tara had informed me, was where all the good places were. I wasn’t sure about good, but there wasn’t lack of choices, that was for sure. I took in the lines outside of each place.
“Maybe let’s just walk a bit and see if we stumble onto something that looks good,” I suggested.
I linked arms with her and picked a direction to head in. We made our way down the block, doing our best to avoid the hoards of people. Thumping bass drifted out of a set of open doors and as we got closer, I took in the people standing outside.
