Page 32 of Knight
“Here,” I said unexpectedly as I made a quick left. She stumbled a bit but seemed to regain herself quickly. After handing the pretty sexy looking bouncer our IDs, we stepped into the darkened space.
Red and black decorated the walls. Along the left wall, there were a few round booths that seemed to hold a great deal of privacy. We made our way up to the bar and waited for one of the bartenders to notice us.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Tara asked after I downed a shot and signaled for another.
“About what?” I said giving her a blank look. I wasn’t trying to be a bitch but I didn’t want to talk or even think about Knight.
“Come on, Gwen,” she said with a small eye roll. “Wearefriends, right?”
I gave her a nod and then downed the next shot.
“Friends talk to one another. You can vent, rant, or cry and I won’t judge, okay?”
Her tone sounded so friendly and my chest suddenly felt heavy. She was right. I thought back to Stacy and how I talked to her about everything. Well, I used to. Time and distance seemed to put a wedge between us and we didn’t talk nearly as much as I wished. But that was life, right? And who was to say that I couldn’t have a new friend that I could share my secrets with. Someone new to lean on and do the same for them in return.
“There’s obviously history there,” she said as I ordered a rum and coke. I snorted out a laugh.
“A lifetime of it,” I blurted out and my head started to feel swimmy. I wasn’t a big drinker and I couldn’t remember if I’d eaten after breakfast. Those shots were hitting me fast but I wasn’t going to let that slow me down any and I took a long pull of my drink. “We grew up together. He was, for lack of a better term, my soul mate. Not in like a romantic way, ya know, because we were kids and all. He was there with me through everything.”
Every little thing and all the big. I didn’t want to go into detail but the memories were there in the forefront of my mind.
“He was there for everything, until one day, he wasn’t.” I did my best to shrug off the hurt that cut me as deep as it had all those years ago. “I haven’t seen him in over seven years. He left for college and then I did four years later. I wasn’t even aware that he…”
I bit my tongue. I didn’t want to talk too much about the club and that whole world. I was sure she had some idea but I didn’t want to seem like it was an open topic for discussion.
“So, how does that lead to you living with him then?” she asked as she flipped her hair over her shoulder.
“My dad. It was all my dad. I had no idea I was moving in with Knight until I got down here and by the shock Knight had to the whole thing, I’m pretty sure he didn’t even know I was here let alone going to be living with him either. But Knight looks up to and respects my dad, so it wasn’t like he would have told my dad no. It’s just one big fucking mess.”
That was an understatement. A giggle bubbled out of my chest at the ridiculousness of it all. This was my life and it seemed to have turned into one big universalfuck youjoke.
“By the way you’re going tonight, I can tell that he hurt you,” she said with a pointed look. “Why do you put up with it?”
I raised a questioning brow at her. I wasn’t one to put up with any kind of shit and really, I hadn’t thought of it like that before. When it came to Knight and me, the only way I could describe it was that was just us. It was the way we were. I tried not to see the problems we’d had or the friendship that had been lost. Maybe I’d spent too many years chasing the good memories. Living in the past. But now that Tara had put those words out there I couldn’t turn a blind eye anymore.
“I’m just saying, you are so much better than that. You shouldn’t have to put up with someone treating you like that, you know?”
And I did. Had it been anyone else and I would have put my foot down a long time ago and walked the fuck away. I didn’t need or deserve that at all. I wasn’t weak. I wasn’t a desperate girl who needed attention no matter what form it came in. I had a backbone of steel and a roar so fucking loud it could drown out a crowded room.
The music thumped in my ears and I felt the need to move.
“You are so right,” I said as I finished off the last sip of my drink and slammed the glass down on the table. “We’ve wasted enough of this great night on that dick. Let’s dance.”
I grabbed her hand and dragged her in the direction of the dance floor before she could even open her mouth to protest. We danced and laughed as one song turned into another and another. Sweat dripped down my chest and back but it felt so freeing.
When two guys joined our little dance party, I didn’t hesitate or push them away. Tara seemed a little shocked into deer in headlights at first but one of the guys whispered something into her ear and she seemed to relax a bit. It was great to see her having a good time. The guy behind me had no face—no name—and I wanted to keep it that way. Luckily, he seemed content to do the same.
“We’re going to go get another drink. You want?” Tara yelled over the music into my ear a while later. I opened my eyes and gave her a thankful nod. “Be back.”
I watched as the guy she had been dancing with took her hand and led her off the dance floor. My body kept swaying and I became aware of how close all the bodies were around me. There wasn’t an inch of space for anyone to move. I wondered how long I’d been out there but I didn’t really care. My body was hot, my heart was racing, and it felt amazing.
“You’re so sexy,” mystery guy whispered into my ear.
Then I felt his wet tongue lick up my neck. The only thing I was thinking was how gross it was that he had licked a bunch of my sweat. I wanted to be mad but I couldn’t. I knew I’d given him no indication that I wasn’t into this. But as much as I wanted to get into it, something was holding me back. And it seemed that yet again Knight had made his way into my head and soured my mood.
“I think I need a break,” I said fanning myself dramatically to prove my point. The guy’s dark eyes penetrated mine and he gave me a nod as if he knew that I wasn’t feeling it. I thanked my lucky stars that I wasn’t going to have any issue with him.
“Have a good night,” he said in a gentle tone and for a second I thought how sweet it was. But as he turned and scanned for his next target, I could help but to shake my head, laugh, and walk away.
I found Tara and she handed me some fruity, pink looking drink. Not giving a fuck anymore, I took a big gulp. The rest of the night went by in a haze and even though I knew I should be careful, I couldn’t find it in me to give a single fuck.
“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you get home,” Tara whispered and that was the last thing I remembered.
