Page 56 of Loch
Brand slathered some ointment type stuff on my back. Then covered it lightly with plastic wrap.
“Yeah, I’ll head that way. Want me to make something for dinner?” I stifled a chuckle. This is what we had become and it felt natural. “I would suggest not wearing a bra for a few days, or if you have a loose one that would work better.”
“Sounds good,” I said as I turned away from him and slid into my shirt. I opened the door, holding my bra in my hand “Thanks again. It’s perfect.”
I stepped out of the room and nearly ran into Tammy. Not the person I wanted to see at that moment. Or ever. My hands went out in front of me bracing for impact. She stepped back and looked me up and down as a crooked smile crept up her face as she looked over my shoulder at Brand.
“Well, look at you,” she said, her tone vicious. “Looks like you move fast. But not as fast as Loch. Seems like he isn’t thinking of you, after all.”
I lunged at her. But before I could reach her, Brand’s arms wrapped around my waist and he pulled me back into his chest and held me tight. I was seeing red. I was hurt and pissed off. All I wanted to do was rip her head clean off.
“She’s not worth it,” Brand whispered against my ear. I sagged, realizing he was right. “Get the fuck outta here!” he growled at Tammy. She threw one last smirk at me and sauntered off down the hall.
“Sorry,” I mumbled a bit embarrassed that I had let her get to me.
“Don’t be.” He released his hold on me and I took a step away. “Go home, I’ll be right behind you.” I nodded and all but ran out of the clubhouse. I felt like I couldn’t breathe until I was pulling out of the front gate.
I wondered if the only reason she had said that was to try and get me. I knew deep down that had to be the case. But thoughts of her and Nate together stabbed me in the chest like a dull knife. If we weren’t going to be together, I knew it would have to happen eventually. I wouldn’t doubt it would be her or any of the other club girls, but I didn’t need it thrown in my face like that.
Later that night, after Brand and I made dinner and cleaned up after, I proposed we do shots. It had been a crazy couple of months and it seemed to be the only logical thing to do. Drowning everything out in the happy bliss of alcohol was just what the doctor ordered. Right? After about ten minutes of me convincing Brand it was the best idea, he gave in and poured the first round. I was a little sad that Chris was at work and couldn’t join in on the fun.
“To…” I paused, thinking of the right thing as I held up my shot glass of vodka. “To new beginnings.” It was cheesy and unoriginal, but it was right.
It went on and on like this, with us talking in between stupid toasts. A few of which were just thrown in there for lack of anything better. After the fifth shot, I was blissfully warm and numb. I didn’t drink a lot, so I was a lightweight. Luckily, the room wasn’t spinning yet. I was glad I had a huge meal before starting. Chris walked in as I downed my sixth, and I swore my last, shot. He took in the scene before him and laughed hard. Plopping down on the couch, he proceeded to catch up to us. I kept watching Brand, who looked normal. I couldn’t even tell that he had been drinking. Then again, he did drink more often than I did.
“Okay, I’m off to bed,” Chris said after a while of us sitting around talking. He stood up and walked up the stairs with a slight wobble in his step. Brand finished off his beer. How he could drink eight shots and top it off with two beers was beyond me. He didn’t even sway as he stood up to pull me off the couch.
“Think you are done for too, missy.” He put his arm around me and guided me towards my room.
I wasn’tthatdrunk, or at least I didn’t think so. The room wasn’t spinning and I didn’t feel like I needed to run for the bathroom to empty my insides. I paused in the doorway to my room. I was tired of feeling sad and lonely. Mostly lonely. I hated that I had put so much into wanting and hoping for something with Nate that I didn’t even see the amazing person right in front of me. I turned into him and looked up into his sparkling eyes. Something danced just on the edge of his glance. Like there was something there that he was desperately trying to hide from me. Without even thinking about it, I grabbed the sides of his cut and pulled myself to him. My lips grazed his and he let out a soft sigh.
“Brand…” I whispered against his lips before I pushed mine against his.
I bounced off his closed lips a few times. I was about to back away, taking the hint that what I was doing wasn’t wanted. Then his arms went around my back. My body crashed into his and I wondered if he was going to open up for me. My hips flush with his and I could definitely feel how much he wanted it. He pushed his lips harder into mine. It felt good, but yet so wrong. But right when I felt his lips part for me, he pulled away with a jerk. He shook his head like he was shaking off a crazy idea. I sighed and hung my head, resting my forehead against his heaving chest.
“Fuck,” he breathed out. “Fuck!” he repeated again in a harsher tone that made me flinch a tiny bit. One of his hands moved to cradle the back of my head. “Reagan, there are so many reasons this is a bad idea. Most importantly, we both know I’m not the one you’re in love with. As much as I want this, I’m not going to stand in the way of your happiness.”
I nodded into his chest, knowing he was right. It was wrong of me to put him in that position and I wondered if we would be okay after this. He and Chris were pretty much my closest friends. I hoped I didn’t screw that up.
“It’s okay. Don’t over think it. I promise I won’t remember this in the morning,” he said in a light playful tone. I knew it wasn’t true but I still appreciated it. “Get to bed.”
“Will you…” I looked up at him feeling vulnerable. My eyes were glassy with unleashed tears. I didn’t want to be alone. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea at that moment, but I needed to be held. He looked down at me, waiting for me to continue. “Stay with me, please.”
He closed his eyes tight and took a deep breath before nodding. I moved to the bed, stretching out on top of the covers. Brand took off his cut and boots and then slid in behind me. His arm came around me and held me tight. I fell asleep not long after, wondering if he would still be there when I woke up. It didn’t feel romantic or sexual. It just felt warm.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Loch
I was sitting on the couch in the clubhouse drinking a beer when Tammy flopped down beside me. Her fingers ran over my jean-clad thigh. I clenched my jaw and looked at her with fire in my eyes. Who the fuck did she think she was? And more importantly, why would she think I would want her touching me?
“The fuck you doin’?!” I seethed, pushing her hand off of me. She didn’t take the hint and moved her hand to run down my chest between the open flaps of my cut.
“I just figured now thatshe’swith Brand, I would be here for you. For anything that you need,” she purred but it sounded like damn nails on a chalkboard to me. My mind tried to catch up to what she had said.
“The fuck you talkin’ about?” I barked. She flinched and I didn’t care. Not even a little fucking bit.
“What’s her name was here,” she started.
