Page 180 of Perfect
“He’s resorted tothis?” If he can’t stalk me himself, he’ll pay someone else to do it.
“He doesn’t know I’m here. He won’t know I saw you unless you want him to.” I look over at her, and her face is serious. “May I sit?” I nod, and she pulls a chair to my bedside, tossing her long, sleek ponytail over her shoulder. “I have his side of the story, but I assume you wouldn’t be dodging his calls if he were telling me the truth.” I laugh humorlessly, pulling my knees to my chest.
“Theo’s not great with the truth,” I say bitterly.
“Good to know. Would you consider talking to me?” I look over at her, scrutinizing her.
“Why?”
Her face softens. “You’re the only other person who knows what happened, and from what I understand, you’ve told the police almost nothing. To be completely frank, I think you remember more than you’re saying, and if anyone could tell me the truth about what happened, it would be you.” I stare down at my hands, thinking.
“You’re not my lawyer, so why should I tell you anything?” She hums, crossing her legs.
“I’mnotyour lawyer, but my clientstarts every conversation by asking me how you are and ends every conversation by begging me to see if you need anything. He’s the one that made sure I had the hospital get your name right.” I press my hands over my face to hide that I’m tearing up.
FuckingTheo.
“Plus,” she says quietly, “he told mehowhe found you, so he’s telling the truth about some things.” I freeze, my breath catching in my throat and betrayal dripping down my spine like ice water, washing away the warmth that had been gathering in my chest.
He told his fuckinglawyer?
I look over at her, unable to stop my tears. “I’m glad he toldoneof us,” I spit, “he just chose the wrong one.” Elise raises her eyebrows and looks out the window as I start to cry, covering my face and trying to keep myself from completely breaking down in front of her.
“Okay, well, that’s…” Elise sighs heavily. “Look, Alex, on the record, I’m going to ask you to consider speaking to me and testifying or submitting a statement on his behalf.” She stands, slipping her bag back over her shoulder. “Off the record? He’s pretty fucking stupid,” she says quietly. I look over at her in surprise and she pulls out a card and places it on the table near my bedside. “Please let me know if you need anything, and I meananything. I won’t tell him what you asked for, and he’ll pay for it either way.”
“I don’t want anything from him.”
She nods once. “Of course. CanIget you anything before I go?” I nod slowly, anger and resentment coursing through me.
“Yeah. Hang on,” I say, tearing a piece of paper off a notepad near my bed and writing out a quick note, handing it to her. “Can you give him this?” She takes the note, glancing at it quickly before folding it and slipping it into her pocket. “He’s going to lose his shit when he sees that,” I warn her quietly, and she exhales slowly.
“Got it. Do you want me to tell him anything, or just give him the note? Our conversation is entirely confidential, by the way.” I shrug.
“You can tell him I’ve known about it since I woke up. They found it in an MRI.” I look down at my hands. “Please don’t tell him this, but I haven’t told anyone what I remember because I haven’t decided how I feel about him yet.” I look up at Elise, but her face stays neutral. “Your job will beveryhard if I decide that I hate him as much as I do right now.”
***
A few days later, Bailey picks me up from the hospital, bringing clothes and a bag of my things that I left at the office, as well as some food. We don’t really talk on the short drive, and she frowns up at the attic of the dilapidated house when she pulls up.
“Alex, why don’t you stay with us for a while? We’d love to have you.”
“I want to be in my own space,” I say quietly, and she looks back at me with concern.
“I get that. Do you need help up the stairs?” I shake my head. “I’ll come over tomorrow, yeah?” I nod, trying not to cry as I lean across the center console and pull her into as tight of a hug as I can handle.
“I love you, Bailey.” She squeezes me back lightly.
“I love you too, babe. Let me know if you need anything, okay?” I nod again, getting out of the car and walking slowly towards the house. It’s so surreal to be home that I don’t even think about how much has changed until I grab my keys from my bag and see the extra keychain with the shiny new keys to Theo’s place dangling there.
My heart gets ripped out of my body all over again, and I start to feel numb as I make the slow trek up to the third floor. I haven’t moved this much in over a month, and the healing scars on my thigh twinge deeply as I pass through the second-floor landing.
I’m so tired by the time I get to my apartment that I put the food Bailey got me in the fridge and strip out of my clothes, pulling on sweats and Theo’s college sweater and crawling into bed. It takes me a second to realize that I can still smell Theo faintly on my pillow and in my sheets. I grip the pillow tightly, pull the duvet over my head, and sob until I fall asleep.
I was so fucking stupid to fall in love with him.
When I wake up a few hours later, I stand in the center of my small apartment, remembering how happy I was the last time I was here. So much of that happiness had to do with Theo, who was fuckinglyingto me the whole time.
I drift into the kitchen and pull a polaroid I took on my birthday off my fridge, staring at it closely. I look stupidly happy because I was both stupid and happy, but I stare at the way Theo’s not looking at the camera but at me. I can see the longing in his eyes, the slight tension in his jaw, and how fragile his smile looks.
