Page 89 of The Bonds We Break
Silence settles between us.
“We’ve been through so much, haven’t we?” I say, rubbing my hand over the scars on my wrists.
“And yet we’re still standing. You and me. Some bonds you just can’t break.”
I smile at that.
“If you want to stay here, go back to life as usual, and pretend everything with King never happened, I wouldn’t blame you. But if you love him, Rae, if the idea of not being with King for the rest of your life makes you ill inside, then go get him. Because I have a feeling he’ll let you catch him.”
32
KING
Eating in an hour. You going to get your ass over here? Oh, and Merry Christmas, Prez.
My head spins and my heart hurts as I try to focus on the text from Clutch. I put my phone down and stare at my clubhouse bedroom ceiling. I’ve not been home since I drove back from Michigan.
There’s been a sense of urgency regarding the Righteous Brotherhood. Their attacks are small. Measured. Damaged bikes and roofs are petty. But it’s clear they are trying to dosomething.We just can’t figure out what.
I also want to think I haven’t been home because the clubhouse is where the party is at.
But that’s a lie too.
There has been a nonstop Christmas party here, especially since Niro dished out the Christmas bonuses for the club. There’s been more pussy than you can poke a stick at, and I haven’t touched any of it for the same reason I haven’t been home.
Rae.
If I step back into my house, she’s going to be another ghost I see everywhere. My pillows will smell like her. I won’t be able to sit on my own sofa without seeing her curled up in the corner with a book. There’s the kitchen counter where she showed me her list of why her relationship with food is so fucked up. Even the hallway will feel empty without her thick winter coat.
And if I even think of fucking another woman, which I’m not, she wouldn’t be Rae. The curve of her neck wouldn’t be the same. Her lips wouldn’t feel the same pressed against mine. And I sure as fuck don’t want some gushing pussy that I don’t even need to work for. Because I’ve realized I like filling Rae’s needs more than I like fucking.
I drag my ass to my shower and get my shit together.
With my stomach feeling the aftermath of more Jack than it can handle, the last thing I feel like eating is a full turkey dinner, but for my sister’s sake, I’ll get it down and keep it down, so help me God.
Tessa helped me out with some of the Christmas gifts for Clutch’s brothers. I picked out a diamond bracelet for my sister. It’s a bit much, really. But I owe her for all the years we missed because our parents fucked with our lives.
There is one gift, unwrapped, on my dresser—the gift I drove all the way to a bookstore on the Upper East Side to get. I run my fingers over what I now know is a brown Morocco leather cover with marbled boards. The salesman, a prick in a bowtie wearing gloves, nearly shriveled when I walked into his store, which was filled floor to ceiling with old books.
The fucker asked if I was there to steal something.
His voice wavered as he’d explained just how rare this quarto edition ofHamletwas. I mean, I got the basics. It was an edition from 1683. He waffled on about folios of Shakespeare’s works, which I assume means editions. The first folio shit cost millions. This third folio text I picked up for a steal at just under a hundred grand.
I’d planned to give it to her today on Christmas morning and promise her a new beginning for both of us. But when I took her home, and she trusted me, I realized the best gift I could give her would be to return her safely to the life she once had.
“Merry Christmas, duchess.”
I grab all the other gifts and make my way to Clutch’s house in the truck. When I get there, he’s in the yard, tossing a ball with his brothers. I haven’t seen them in years. Clutch’s bitch of an aunt got custody of them and took ’em off to Florida or some shit.
But my VP looks ... content.
I get out of the truck and gather the bags. For my sister, and the sake of his brothers, I try to look like I’m happy to be there.
“Aaron, Rory,” I say, remembering how I talked shit about the name Aaron when I first met Rae. It was the guy she was supposed to go on a date with. I wonder if she’s called him and made plans since she got home.
And, fuck, that thought isn’t going to make today go any easier.
I feel like I’m getting cut in half by a hot blade.
