Page 85 of The Duchess' Ultimatum
Her words should have been cutting. Even if Dorian had come here to confirm his desire to annul their marriage, there should have been a reaction on his face that appeared hurt… wounded… even resigned because she knew that despite everything he cared for her. At least more than he once did.
Rather, a smirk reached his lips. “And you still feel that way? This marriage, that it has no future…”
“Do you?”
“I asked you first.”
She pressed her lips together. “Why are you here, Dorian? Tell me the truth.”
“I think you know.”
“I wouldn’t presume to guess.” She folded her arms and raised an eyebrow at him.
And still, that smirk he had been wearing since he rode through the front gate grew. This time, he paired it with a step in her direction.
“I rode all afternoon to be here,” he started. “As soon as Albina told me what you wanted, I jumped on my horse and pushed it harder than it has ever been pushed. I nearly ran the poor thing into the ground, just so I would get here as quickly as I could.”
“That isn’t an answer.”
“What I hope it is,” he continued, another step closer. “Is proof that for once I am not running – or maybe I am. Only this time, I am running in the right direction.”
Her heart skipped a beat. “And… and what direction is that?”
“Toward what I want,” he said. “Rather than what I think I do.”
“I don’t –”
“You must know that I never wished to marry,” he cut her off as he took another step closer. Three feet away now, and it was all Penelope could do not to go to him. “My sister, the belief that she needed me, and the only way I could protect her was by being with her always. For these past few years, she has been my life, and I refused to accept that there was room for anything other than her.”
“And that has changed, has it?”
“That included my own happiness,” he continued, ignoring her question. “In truth, I didn’t think I could ever be happy. That I even deserved it. That foolish notion that if my sister was happy, that would be enough for me. I was wrong to think that way.”
Penelope felt her body trembling as excitement began to take her. “For now,” she said. “But that might change.”
“It won’t,” he assured her. He met her eyes and held them, refusing to look away. “And I know this for fact because I have done everything in my power to make it so. Iwantedmy life to revolve around her, terrified of what would happen when it no longer did. But I’m not scared anymore.”
“And Barbara…”
“She is not what she was, even last week. Funny that all this time I only wanted her to be happy, and she wanted the same for me. She gave me her blessing to…” He chuckled and shook his head. “To finally be happy.”
“And what is happiness? What does that mean?”
“It means you, Penelope…” His smile grew and he took the final step toward her. “It means that I’m ready to stop running and admit what I want. To put my own needs first because only once I do that can I move on – all my life, all I’ve wanted is a purpose. But that purpose…” He laughed softly. “It has been staring me in the face, and I’ve just been too stupid to see it.” And then, he reached for her hands.
And for a moment, Penelope let him take them.
She felt his hands wrap around her and the sensation swept through her body and touched at her heart. This was what she had wanted all this time. For Dorian to finally admit what he wanted, how he felt about her, that he was willing to take a chance.
And I want it too. The same need for a purpose in life, one that was right here, waiting for me, if only I was brave enough to accept it.
But then reality hit her.
Dorian admitting how he felt was one thing, but that wasn’t the reason that she left. Even had he told her last week how he felt, she still would have turned him down. Not because she wanted to, but because she had to…
“No!” She snatched her hands away. “Dorian, I can’t…” Then she turned, shame taking her.
“What do you mean?” Dorian reached for her again, hesitating when he saw her cower back. “Penelope, is this not… I thought you wanted… to try… for me to --”
