Page 86 of The Duchess' Ultimatum
“I do,” she spoke over him. “I mean… I did. You know that all I want is for something in my life to give it meaning. If not a child, a marriage worth living for. But Dorian…” She forced herself tolook at him, tears welling in her eyes. “It is not that simple. Not anymore.”
“But it is.”
“No,” she said. “It is not. I wish it was. Dammit, how I do. But Barbara…”
“I told you, she gave me her blessing. She wants me to be with you.”
“She is in danger,” Penelope said. “That is why…” She winced. “On that last night, when I came to you, the reason that I decided to leave. It was not because I don’t care for you. It wasn’t out of anger because you… because you refused to try. It was… it was… it was…” she could say it.
“Like me, putting the happiness of someone else first.” He was still smiling. “I should have known.”
“I suppose we’re alike in that way.”
He laughed. “Don’t you see, you don’t have to do that anymore. That is the entire point of why I am here!”
“But I do! Did you not hear what I said? Barbara –”
“Is perfectly fine.”
“She is not! You don’t understand…” Desperation was starting to take her, the hope she had been feeling dying like a grape on the vine. And yet, for reasons that she could not fathom, Dorian was still smiling.
“I understand perfectly.” Again, he stepped into her. Again, he took her by the hands. And this time, when she tried to pull away, he refused to let go. “I take it that you spoke with Lord Kenbrook.”
She winced. “His daughter…”
“Ah, Henrietta. And I am to presume a threat was made?”
“It was,” she said, pleading now. “I knew how much you cared for you sister, and if the details of our marriage were to be found out…” She sniffed back the tears. “If the worst should happen, how it might affect Barbara’s reputation. I did not want to do that to her. She did not deserve it.”
For reasons that Penelope could not fathom, Dorian was smiling.
“What?” she said. “Why… I am serious, Dorian! Lord Kenbrook wants his son to marry Barbara, and he will stop at nothing to see it done.”
“Penelope…” He let go of her right hand and reached for her face. She half-leaned away as if to deny him, but his hand cupped the side of her face and she melted into it. “You don’t haveto worry about Barbara. And you certainly don’t have to worry about Lord Kenbrook.”
“But he –”
“Has been taken care of.” He held her face and forced her to meet his eyes. He wore a smile in them, and behind that smile she saw the love that she had long since suspected her had for her. “I have dealt with Lord Kenbrook and I promise when I tell you that nor you or I will be hearing from him again any time soon.”
“You…” Her heart skipped a beat. “You have…”
“I have,” he said. “I am through ignoring my feelings for you, Penelope. I am through putting them aside for others – for thinking they do not matter. When Albina told me what you wanted, I knew that I could not allow such a thing. At least not until I told you how I felt.”
“How you felt…”
“That’s the one thing I haven’t done,” he said as he looked into her eyes and held them. “The one thing I’ve been afraid to do. And if afterwards, you still wish to annule our marriage, for me to go and to never see me again, I’ll understand. But not until you know the truth.”
Penelope could feel it again. Hope, swelling inside of her. Her heart was fluttering. Her legs were trembling. Tears in her eyesbut not brought about by sadness. She reached up with her spare hand and held it on the one that touched her face, never wanting to let go.
“And… and how do you feel?”
“I love you, Penelope. I know that now. I wish I had realized it sooner. I wish I had given myself a chance to. But now that I know it, now that I accept it, I need you to know the truth.”
“You do…”
His smile grew. “My purpose in life. That which I know will bring me happiness from now until the end of my days, is you. And I’ve never been so sure of anything.”
Was it so strange that this sudden admittance didn’t come as nearly the big surprise that it should have? That somehow, deep down, Penelope had always known it. Because like Dorian, she too had been fighting against her own feelings, refusing to admit them, scared what they might reveal.
