Page 77 of The Duchess' Ultimatum
“It is the right move,” Penelope agreed. “For Barbara’s sake, if nothing else.”
Dorian winced and shook his head, body still shaking, it would be a while before he found any sense of calm or peace.He cares so deeply for his sister, and I know he would do anything for her. We both would…
“Dorian…” Penelope stood purposefully back from him, nearer the door, needing the distance so she could get through this. “We need to –”
“Oh, yes,” Dorian cut her off. “Right, I forgot…” He bit into his lower lip, the sense that he was surprised by what he assumed she was here for, and not nearly so interested as he had been. “But I made you a promise and…” He took a step toward her.
“Wait.” She held out a hand to stop him. “There is something I need to say. That you need to hear.”
He came to a halt, almost appearing relieved.
It was at that exact moment when Penelope decided that she was doing the right thing. It was so obvious that Dorian’s heart wasn’t in it any longer. That all this could ever be to him was a business transaction. And where once that was exactly what Barbara had wanted, that time had long since passed her by.
She cared deeply for Dorian, too much to be used like this once and then leave here without looking back. Too much to carry and then raise his child, a constant reminder of what she might have had and what she had left behind.
A part of her wanted this final night – was desperate for it. Something to remember Dorian by because it was all she would have. But the other part knew how dangerous that was, and that was the part she listened to.
“I am going to leave tomorrow,” she said. “First thing in the morning.”
“Yes, I…” His expression hardened. “You told me that already.”
“And because I am, I have decided that this… us… whatever it is we are meant to do, is perhaps not the best of ideas. I know we had a deal, and I appreciate so much that you meant to keep it. But in this instance, I think it is better if we…” She found her chin wobbling. “If we simply walk away.”
“What…” Dorian gave his head a shake. “But the child? You don’t –”
“I don’t,” she cut him off. “Not anymore.”
He looked at her across the room. A hard gaze. Confusion present behind his eyes… and that same sadness she had come to know him for. Likely, he knew why she was doing this, just as he knew it was the right thing. But like her, she wondered if he had wanted this final night together as a means to remember what might have been.
“If that is how you feel,” he said finally, his voice low.
“It is,” she said. Then, a soft smile. “And thank you, for everything.”
“I didn’t do anything.”
She laughed. “You did. More than you can possibly know.”
A beat then passed between them and Penelope felt that familiar pull. The urge to go to him and kiss him a final time. A kiss that would say everything words could not, a kiss that would give her something to remember on those cold lonely nights that were sure to become a feature of her life from here on out.
And he wanted it too. His eyes flicked to her lips. Hunger and desire ever present behind them. But like her, he stayed back, self-control working at an all-time high.
That was the last Penelope saw of Dorian.
She smiled a final time and slipped back through the door. From there, she went to her room where she tried and failed to sleep. When the sun rose, she rose with it, sneaking through the manor as it slowly roused, quick to have her carriage packed and directed back to her home.
My home… once, that was the only home I knew and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Now, it feels like… I cannot say. Not so much a home as a prison. One that I am doomed to be kept in for the rest of my days.
The carriage pulled from the estate and started down the drive and as it did she turned and looked out the window as Dorian’s home, the life she had almost had, sunk into the horizon and was gone.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
The manor felt emptier than it ever had.
It had nothing to do with the scores of guests finally going home either, even if that would have been an easy excuse to swallow. No… the reason it felt so empty, so hallow and lonely, was because Penelope was no longer there.
I made a terrible mistake. From start to finish, every instinct I’ve had was wrong and this here is my reward. And now that I realize it, I can’t help but wonder if I am too late…
Dorian found himself standing alone in Penelope’s bedroom. He stood staring at her bed, her inside squirming with guilt and longing and all bad things. He could still smell her. He could still feel her presence around him. She was gone from this home, from his life, but in his conscience she remained.
