Page 49 of A Dreamy Match Made in Heaven
“There is a great deal of history between myself and Officer Gregory. In fact, we have known one another most of our lives. And for the majority of that time, we cared deeply for one another. We even wished that one day we might marry. And although neither of us said it aloud, it was no secret between us,” Sophia told her with a sigh.
Adrianna held her hand to her open mouth in a delicate gesture of surprise. Sophia knew that she could spend an eternity practicing that motion and never appear so effortlessly lovely as Adrianna did in that moment.
“Truly? I never might have guessed such a thing,” Adrianna said.
“It is true. And then, Thomas went away. And at that point, the Earl pretended to set his sights upon me. He worked to court me. I didn’t wish for it. I loved Thomas with everything I had in my heart. But a woman cannot simply refuse an Earl,” she continued.
“So what happened?”
“I tried to keep the Earl at bay, knowing that Thomas would be returning soon from his first stint in the military. And when he came back, I hoped that he would swiftly propose to me and we could be married. But he did not take such action. He chose instead to be intimidated by the Earl. Or maybe he never loved me at all,” Sophia declared.
“I am sure he did,” Adrianna said, trying to be encouraging.
But Sophia didn’t want the encouragement. She wanted someone to be as angry at Thomas as she was.
“We shall never know, I suspect. But he blamed me, saying that I chose the Earl over him. He left and I remained behind, unable to keep away from the Earl’s attempts to charm and woo me. And for the next two years, I fought against myself to try and love him,” Sophia mourned.
“And then he betrayed you…” Adrianna said, understanding a bit more of the story now.
“Indeed. He broke my heart. The very heart that I forced into caring for him. You see, it was not that it took the Earl two years to propose to me. I think part of him must have wanted to much sooner, in order to end his love for his other woman sooner. To try and free himself of a love that society would not accept,” Sophia began.
“But it was me. I would not allow him to proceed further. At least, not until the end when he apparently gave up waiting. It was my own fault. After all, if I had been easier to pursue from the start, then we would have been married by now,” she finished.
“I think I am glad that you are not. He was a terrible man for having treated you that way. I should have been so dreadfully upset if you had married him and he still chose to pursue that other lady,” Adrianna said.
“Oh, certainly. I would have been as well. But at least I would not have been entirely surprised by a betrayal from him. From Thomas, I never expected it. I never anticipated that he would break my heart,” Sophia said.
And it was true. She could understand the Earl hurting her, but never Thomas. He had been too good a man to expect it from. He had been too trustworthy for so many years. But none of that needed to be said now. None of it needed to be remembered.
Because Adrianna might not understand, and Sophia wanted to forget. She wanted to forget all of it.
“It must have been utterly dreadful when Miss Wainwright matched the two of you,” Adrianna noted.
“More than you might imagine. I never expected such a thing. I never thought that I would see Thomas again, much less at the ball of a matchmaker. And then when the Matchmaker herself chose us for one another? It was far too ridiculous an event to think through clearly. I only wished that I could run off and hide, that I might never see Thomas again after that. It would have been better if we had not met,” she said.
“Unless it was fate,” Adrianna suggested.
“Fate?” Sophia repeated, dubious to the whole idea.
“Certainly. Why shouldn’t it be? After all of this, after everything that the two of you have gone through, do you really think that you could not be brought back together?” she asked.
“Oh, I think not. It would be a ridiculous notion. He would never want to be with me again. And that is a fact that Thomas made clear today at the gardens. He has no desire to ever speak with me or be matched to me,” Sophia remarked.
“How do you know that? And does that reflect upon you? What do you feel?” Adrianna asked.
“I feel that Miss Wainwright failed,” Sophia laughed bitterly.
Adrianna gave her a scolding glare.
“Come on, now. Truly, tell me how you feel,” she prodded.
Sophia swallowed, trying to find the courage to confess her thoughts.
“Things did not go well for us today, Adrianna. Thomas and I fought, quite bitterly. He has made it evident that he cares nothing for me in reality. Not anymore. I hurt him when I ended up with the Earl, although I would not have done so if things had been different, if he had stayed or expressed his love. But he does not see it that way,” she said.
“You know that you can make him see it that way, don’t you?” Adrianna asked.
“No, I fear that it is far too late for that. I have tried. But he does not wish for a union with me. Not anymore. Whatever chance once existed between us, it is now ended,” Sophia replied with full assurance.
