Page 72 of A Dreamy Match Made in Heaven
“Allow me to ask you a question,” Officer Kingsley said.
“Certainly,” Thomas replied.
“Imagine that Lady Cranford loved another. That you were simply someone that she cared for and she was trying to love in order to move on from the past, and she recognised that you are a good man,” he said.
“I follow,” Thomas said.
“Would you be happy if you learned that she did not love you? That perhaps for weeks or months, or even a lifetime together, she never loved you, but simply wanted to settle for a simple happiness that would enable her to have a good and easy life? Even a life without love or passion?” he asked.
Thomas had thought about this many times. Not necessarily if the roles had been reversed, but about the fairness of expecting her to enjoy a life where they were not in love. Or at least, where he did not truly love her.
“It sounds rather unfair. I am aware of that. I have thought of it many times. And it still brings me grief to try and come to terms with how I ought to live in response to it,” Thomas confessed.
“I urge you to consider it deeply. Think about what you would want if things were different. Think about the fairness of allowing her to be unloved,” Officer Kingsley said.
“I know…” Thomas said with sadness. “I do know. It is wrong. It is unfair. And the more I consider it, no matter how I try to push the thought away, I cannot help but be overwhelmed by the truth of it. She deserves better. Lady Cranford deserves to be loved.”
Officer Kingsley nodded.
“I have often thought how I do not mind the concept of being in a loveless marriage. As difficult as it would be, particularly knowing that I care for another, I want to be the sort of man who can settle for less than all of that. But I do not think I can put her through this. I do not think that I could cause her such a level of pain as being unloved,” he remarked.
“Then I think you have made a good decision and that you understand things as they are. You know that this is not right. You know that she deserves better than to live a life unloved,” Officer Kingsley said.
“Yes, I do,” Thomas acknowledged.
“So what are you going to do about it?” he asked.
Thomas sighed. He didn’t like to even consider ending things with a woman as wonderful as Lady Cranford who had been so delightful to him throughout their time together. But all of these thoughts had long plagued him and with his friend bringing them to light, there was nothing he could now do to deny them.
“I think I must find a way to end things while protecting her reputation. It should be a great shame if I continue things and then learn that I have caused Lady Cranford further damage. And yet, I cannot imagine how I am to go about it in such a way that she will not be wounded,” he said.
“It is far better to wound her now than to do so at a later time. I think you know that this is the best option that you have, and I urge you to follow it through. It is the right thing. You know that as well as I do,” his friend said.
Thomas nodded. He was glad to have Officer Kingsley there to consider these things with and to know that his friend was right. Both of them agreed on the matter, and agreed that it was the thing that had to be done.
“Yes, I do. And I think it is time that I make up my mind to finish this. It is the only thing that I can do that would be even remotely fair. No matter how it goes, it must be done for the sake of us both. She and I are better off this way,” Thomas said.
“More than better off. It is simply the right thing to do. It is what ought to have been done already. And while I am glad that you tried this method, this Matchmaker, it has all led you back to the woman you truly wanted to be with,” he replied.
Even if it was difficult and painful, it had to be done. Thomas would look like a terrible man for a while, he felt quite certain. But if, in the end, it spared Lady Cranford a loveless marriage, if it spared her the lie of it, everything would be worth it.
Sometimes, Thomas knew, the difficult decision, the one that hurt people the most, was also the choice with the most integrity. Painful as honesty was, it was the right choice. And in this matter, there was no other option for them.
Thomas would have to tell her.
The two men spent some time out on the horses, shooting and trying to see who could get the largest bird. In the end, they both failed miserably as there were few beasts out as it was. Nevertheless, they had a nice time and it was a much needed relief from the heaviness of the subjects they had been previously discussing.
Thomas decided that he would spend the rest of the day at his mother and father’s home while Officer Kingsley returned to the inn.
Making a plan for how he would handle everything regarding Lady Cranford, Thomas readied himself for the pain that he was going to cause and tried to consider how he could most delicately handle the issue in a way that would not leave her devastated.
Surely, her mother and father would never forgive him. But Lord and Lady Albers were not terrible people. They might speak ill of him amongst friends, but he imagined that he would not be slandered about society in any way.
Regardless of how he would come to be perceived, it was the right thing to do and he would press forward with it.
Thomas spoke to his mother, confessing only small aspects of the matter at hand. Miss Gregory agreed that Thomas was making the right choice and that was another helpful opinion to hear.
In all, Thomas knew that he was choosing to do the right thing. Lady Cranford would be able to move on and find a better match than he. She might be heartbroken for a time, but she would get past it.
