Page 15 of Breaking Free (Guarded Hearts)
He slams his hands against the car, making me jump. “Have it your way, James.”
Drew turns his back on me and walks back toward the building. I want to go after him. I don’t want to lose him. I know I’ve only known him a friggin’ day, but I haven’t felt this alive in forever. As bad as he is for me, I think he does twice as much good. A tear escapes my eye and I quickly wipe it away. This is why I need to walk away. I’m already so attached and I haven’t known him that long. What happens after weeks or months?
I get into the cab, give the driver my address, and as we pull away I look back at the building. The door is so far away but I can see someone standing by it. Hopefully, I didn’t just make a really bad decision.
When I get home, everyone is in the living room but I don’t feel like making small talk and pretending my head isn’t screwed up.
I walk upstairs and fall face first onto the bed. I decide to let the tears that I’ve fought back since Drew turned his back on me flow freely. My door opens but I don’t want to look up at whoever it is. I’m not in the mood for company; I thought they would have figured that out. My bed dips and I decide to see who my visitor is. Carter.
“What happened?”
“Nothing, Carter. I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Holls, I knew he would hurt you.” When I look at him he seems genuinely upset. Carter doesn’t know half of what actually happened to me that night, but he was the one who found me in the trunk. Ever since then, he’s tried to keep me from getting so much as a paper cut. I know he loves me and I’ve acted like a complete brat.
“I love you.” He wraps his arms around me and I immediately feel like I’m suffocating. My skin feels like it’s being stabbed with a million different needles. I roll away from Carter and his embrace, turning so that my back is to him. I know I’m probably hurting him, but I’m not ready to explain this to him. Carter gets up and leaves the room, closing the door behind him.
The tears flow again, not just because of what happened with Drew or Carter, but because I’m now back to the messed up girl who can’t function normally. You have no idea how much you take something as simple as human touch for granted until it’s taken away from you. I close my eyes, wishing I can wake up in the morning and have everything be back to normal.
I’m stuck in a metal cage with bars surrounding me. It’s so short that I can barely kneel without hitting my head on the ceiling. I feel around the cage looking for a latch or something to help me get out but there isn’t one. I start to panic and that’s when I hear his voice.
“You look fucking perfect.” No. It’s not possible. He can’t be here. “I can’t wait to get you alone. Wait ‘til you see what I do to you.”
A hand reaches into the cage and I slam back against the opposite side. This is the game that goes on countless times until the hands are everywhere. They come from every direction, reaching out for me until there are so many that I can’t escape them. I scream as they rip at my clothes and scratch my skin with their ridged nails. I scream at the top of my lungs until my voice no longer works.
I sit up in bed, running my hands all over my body, searching for the marks I’m almost positive will be there. I’m fine, though, at least physically.
* * *
I wake up in the morning—at least I think it’s morning—and I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. When I get out of bed and check my phone, all I want to do is crawl back into bed. I don’t have any texts or calls from Drew. I know I basically told him to take a hike, but I guess I was hoping that he would fight me to stay. I shouldn’t have been so naïve, though. I always knew that he wasn’t that guy no matter how much I may have wanted him to be.
My door opens, and when I turn over, Madison is standing there. Even though she and Carter aren’t married yet, I already feel like she’s my sister. She takes one look at me and shakes her head. “Come on.” What? “Let’s go get lunch, I have a feeling you need some fresh air.”
“I really don’t want—”
“Nope, I’m not taking no for an answer. Let’s go. You have five minutes or I’m coming in here and dressing you myself.” She closes the door behind her and I grudgingly head over to my closet. If she’s forcing me to go out she’s getting the oversized t-shirt and sweatpants me.I really am a brat.
I get dressed and head downstairs. She looks at me and laughs. “What? We don’t have to go if this isn’t okay.”
“Wear whatever you want, girl.”
We walk to Carter’s car and she drives down to the diner. The car ride is uncomfortable and it’s freaking me out because it’s never been like this between us. When we arrive, we grab a booth and start looking at the menus. The first time either of us talks is when we are giving the waitress our orders. After she walks away, I look up and Mads is staring at me. “Spill.” I don’t answer her. “Come on, Holly. You came in looking like shit last night. What happened?”
Gee, thanks.“Nothing that I didn’t know would happen.”
She shakes her head. “I don’t get it. I mean, you only knew him for aday. I know he’s some big hotshot or whatever, but are youreallythat serious about him so soon?” Her phone beeps and she pulls it out.
I can’t tell her everything, but maybe it will help to talk a little. “No. I can’t explain it, Mads. He made me feel free, like I could do anything, and like—”
“Oh My God!” She meets my eyes and I can tell that this is not a good oh my God.
“What?”
She holds her phone out to me and I take it. When I look at the screen it’s a picture of me and Drew. He is hitting the car and I look terrified. The next picture is of that tear that I didn’t mean to let go. I look at the website, it’sUS Weekly.Shit.As I scroll through the gallery, they have pictures of him running his hands up my body and even of us walking into the hotel. You can’t tell it’s me because of Drew’s sweatshirt but it’s an easy assumption. I hope this is the only site.
I go to Google and search Drew’s name. All the results that pop up make me sick; ‘Drew and his mystery girl’ ‘Is the Renegade losing it?’ ‘Drew Walker abusive?’ This can’t be happening. I head for the door immediately. I need air.
When I get outside, I feel a hand on my back and I jump. It’s Madison and she looks at me like I’m losing it. “What happened yesterday?”
