Page 75 of Clash
She let out a gasp when I embraced her, engulfing her in my arms, needing her comfort right now. My brother was about to be locked away, and there was probably nothing we could do about it.Fuck.
She slightly pulled away, placing her hands on the sides of my face to look at me. “Clash, what’s wrong.” The simple gesture had me melting in her embrace, wanting more—more intimacy—more her—more everything.
“I have to go,” I whispered, my head naturally gravitating so it could rest against hers. There was something about looking deeply into her eyes, memorizing every speck and gray fleck that composed her beautiful slate gray irises, that dismantled me. The lack of space between our foreheads only brought me comfort, easing my guilt and pain.
“What’s going on?”
Sighing, I stepped over to the bed and threw myself on it, not sure why I suddenly felt the need to open up to her. I didn’t have time for this shit, but I also knew she needed to know. Just in case… just in case I ever win her heart.
“I’ve done some bad things in my life, Gina. Things I know you’d look differently at me for. Being an only child has made me a very stubborn and self-absorbed person. Even though I’m a part of my club, I’ve found myself not feeling like a brother. I’ve been bitter and cold to everyone, never revealing my true thoughts about what happened with our club.”
“What happened?”
Shooting her a pained look, I sighed. For some reason, I wanted to be open and honest with her, even if it meant her looking at me in a different way—one that could prevent her from being with me. But if she was going to eventually bed the beast, then she needed to know how deadly and sharp his claws were. “I was part of a plot to bring our club president down. He had lost his mind, and was making decisions that affected our club in a negative way. He cheated on his Ol’ Lady, that’s what we call our woman once we finally get tied down by one, if it ever happens. Anyway, his woman wanted revenge and slept with his second in command.”
“Oh no!” she squeaked. “That’s horrible.”
“Yes, but then again, it’s not. Our old Prez was horrible to her. He beat her and cheated with numerous women, not just one. Eventually, one came up pregnant, and it was only later that we found out he had forced his Ol’ Lady to get an abortion years ago at a shady abortion clinic in Mexico, pretty much preventing her from having children again. It broke her inside, making her bitter and wanting revenge.”
Tears appeared in Gina’s eyes. “My god, I can’t even imagine what that poor woman went through. My son is everything to me.”
“I know. Anyway, before I met you, I was even more of an asshole, and I walked in on her and the VP skating around the Prez’s back. We had this stupid agreement amongst all the officers that if she was to ever give us a shot, we’d all get a Hall Pass to fuck her. So, when I caught them together, I blackmailed her into sleeping with me too, cashing in my Hall Pass.”
“That’s gross,” Gina exclaimed, her nose scrunching in disgust. “Is that what you guys do in motorcycle clubs? Share women all the time?”
“Do you really want to know?”
“Yes!” she practically yelled. I could see the judgment swirling in her glare, but it’s hard to explain to people why a motorcycle club is set up the way it is. Nobody truly understands it, not even the club members themselves sometimes.
“When you join a motorcycle club, it’s structure and hierarchy is somewhat set up like a gang, though we don’t consider ourselves that. Don’t ever call us a gang, ever. We’re a club, a group of brothers who would do anything for each other and will protect their family. A lot of perks come from riding a bike, girls tend to flock to you, attracted to the leather and bad boy image that comes with riding a chrome demon under the same banner. After a while, the girls become what we call sweet butts. Those specific girls belong to the club, we call them property—our property. And because of that, we can fuck and use them whenever we like, and they can’t fight us on it, not if they want to stay.”
“That’s barbaric,” Gina snapped, rolling her eyes.
“It is. But it’s what works for our club. Those girls tend to be passed around, flitting from guy to guy. They have rules, just like we do, but rules nonetheless. They’re not allowed to sleep with people outside of the club, they have to be on birth control, and always get checked for STD’s, that’s how we keep our club safe and disease free.”
“And these girls are okay with all this?” Her animosity for me and my lifestyle was building. I couldn’t blame her. Half the time, I hated me too for what I did to the club girls in the past. I was a prick, one that took great pleasure in adding notches in his belt. But none of that mattered anymore. Not when I could still taste Gina on my tongue, and couldn’t stop picturing what a future would look like tied down and loyal to only one woman—her.
Throwing my head back, I stared at the ceiling, wondering why I’m even bothering telling her all this? She’s just going to hate me after it all, anyway. I don’t know why I ever thought I had a chance with someone as beautiful and special as Gina. I’m an idiot. But even though I know I should stop while I’m ahead, I keep going. “They join the club with the hope of someday becoming an Ol’ Lady, but none of them ever get that title.”
“Why?”
Shrugging, I glanced her way, noticing how uneasy she looked. I hate that. “They’re just not special enough, I guess. Nobody wants a girl that’s been with multiple people.”
“So, what made this other girl so special? The one you caught with the guy and you all had a pact about? The one that you fucked?”
“Her? I don’t know. Remember when you asked me if I ever fell in love before?”
She nodded.
“I was more infatuated than anything, but yeah, it was her.”
“Wait? You ended up having feelings for her?”
“We all did. All eight of us. After fucking her, a lot of us ended up attached, I guess it was our way of getting back at the Prez for everything he did to our club. Though, it was her idea initially to move through the ranks and fuck us all. She wanted to get back at him. One fuck for every girl he cheated on her with.”
“Was he pissed?”
“Beyond pissed. He tried to kill us all.”
