Page 7 of Queen Takes Sunfires 1
The room itself was mostly made of some kind of clear material. I could see people walking by and hear their low voices through the open doorway. More material hung from the ceiling to provide privacy. I reached out and pulled the material closer, studying the pattern. Green, like those olives I vaguely remembered, dotted with diamonds. So simple, but incredible to me. I couldn't recall ever seeing something like it before.
I lay back and closed my eyes. Deliberately, I tried to picture myself. My face. What color were my eyes? What color was my hair? I didn't know. I tried to picture myself in clothing. Maybe something like the doctor had been wearing. Pants. The word made sense suddenly. I knew what they were, but I couldn't imagine myself wearing them. Maybe I always wore a... gown. Dress? Yes, that was a better word. But I still couldn't picture myself at all.
Focusing on each breath, I tried to still the tumult inside me. Peace. Quiet. I was in a place of safety, though I didn't know where or how. I was no longer in a place of danger. I still didn't know where I'd been, only that it had been very bad. A place that I would do anything to stay out of. I concentrated on each inhale and exhale, letting my muscles relax one by one. Tension strained inside me. Desperation. Anxiety. I needed to flee, my body was sure of it. Something bad was coming.
I wasn't sure how long I lay quietly, trying to control my anxiety, butI knew the doctor had returned even without opening my eyes. I felt him. Like an energy force, a slight disturbance of air against my skin that told me something approached. Then I smelled him. The hot liquid that he'd guzzled a few minutes ago, even though it tasted bitter on his tongue. The greasy round thing he'd indulged in earlier. My brain substituted an image automatically, the young man holding a large sandwich of some kind in both hands. Onions. Pickles. Ketchup.
I didn't even know what those things were. But I knew he'd eaten them.
How is this possible?
My breathing quickened, short and shallow. I started to shake. There had to be something I was missing. Something I didn't understand. It was so important. My safety depended on it, but the harder I tried to understand the jumble of sensations flooding my head, the less it made sense.
A strange metallic sound made my eyes fly open. I watched as the doctor pulled the privacy curtain shut, metallic rings rattling overhead. Then he sat down in a chair I hadn't even noticed beside the bed. He hadn't done any of this before. Tests. He'd said they'd drawn blood. Maybe there was something seriously wrong with me?
"Um..." He hesitated, clearing his throat. His eyes were wide, his pupils dilated. His pulse thumped rapidly in his throat. I could hear the sound as if it was my own heartbeat. Maybe he knew the things that were after me? Though he didn't seem afraid, exactly. More excited than anything. "I don't know how to ask this. It's... crazy. There has to be some mistake. But I asked the lab to run the tests again. I put a rush on it. And they came back exactly the same."
I stared at him, stilling my own reactions. My face softened. I could feel each muscle smoothing as if a mask was slipping up over my cheeks. A veil dropped before my eyes. Almost like that green curtain, but this was gray. Numb.
It dawned on me that I was hiding inside my own body. It was almost like I'd withdrawn my soul or spirit deeper inside me, leaving only an outer shell that could barely function. A doll. Or puppet. Something not alive. As easily and automatically as I'd done it, I must have been forced to withdraw like this a great deal.
"Are you human?"
I blinked slowly. The word hung in the air between us.Human.
That was it. That was the piece of understanding I'd been missing. There wasn't anything wrong with me. He was the one who was different. He was human. Less, honestly. I didn't mean it to be a slur, but he was less powerful. Literally, his life force wasn't as vital and strong as mine, even though I'd evidently been near death.
He leaned closer, bracing his elbows on his knees. Keeping his voice low, he rattled off the results. "You were clinically dead according to the EMTs who brought you in. You didn't have a pulse, even though you were semi-conscious. The first time we tried to draw blood, we couldn't find any. Your veins collapsed immediately. You didn't have a measurable blood pressure. That's impossible, right? But I thought maybe you were one of those near-death miracles. That you were going to come back raving about the bright light..."
I flinched, drawing back involuntarily. "No. Please. I can't go back to that."
"You saw it? A bright light?"
I closed my eyes, shuddering. "Yes. The sun always shines there. It's so bright that everything is agony."
He frowned, shaking his head slightly. "That's not right. It's not supposed to be like that. Heaven is paradise. Not agony."
"I wasn't in heaven, doctor." I swallowed hard and I felt moisture pooling in my eyes. "I was in hell."
4
Karmen
The doctor laughed awkwardly as if I'd made a really bad joke and he was trying to be polite. "I don't think you're a demon, but I'm honestly not surewhatyou are. Your blood is very... unique."
Blood. Yes. I vaguely remembered something my mother had used to say. I tried to remember her face. Her name. But it had been so very long ago. Back in the olive tree days.
"It's actually abnormal enough that I posted in a medical forum where some of the country's top doctors donate their time for unusual diseases."
I tried to sit up but pulling myself upright made me feel woozy. He pressed a button on the bed and it slowly rose, helping me to sit up more comfortably.
"See? You're weak and obviously feeling unwell. But what's absolutely shocking is the way you're recovering at all. Two hours ago, you didn't have a measurable blood pressure. An hour ago, we were finally able to take blood. I wouldn't be surprised to find that your blood pressure is much improved, even though you're still weak. But a normal human would have never been able to recover from whatever trauma you experienced. You were dead, Karmen. I couldn't have saved you in that moment. You saved yourself. Somehow."
"You think I have some kind of disease?"
He grimaced. "Not exactly. Your blood is abnormal, but the lab couldn't immediately identify any recognizable disease or foreign antibody in your blood. Well, except for one. High traces of hCG."
I stared at him blankly. I had no idea what that meant.
