Scarlettall but ran up the stairs to her bedchamber, slamming the door and sinking down in a crouch against it, until she found herself a blubbering mess on the floor. This wasn’t like her, not at all. She was normally assured, confident, willing to take on whatever risks came her way. Her mother had been right. It was love that made her this way. Weak. Inconsistent. Unsure. She had been resolved to go with Hunter to London, until that final moment. Now he would hate her, she was sure of it. Would he find comfort in the arms of someone else? Someone like Lady Raymond? The thought created an ache within her that began in her heart and radiated out through her entire body, her limbs practically trembling with it.
She rocked back and forth from her seat on the floor, her arms around her knees. She didn’t know how long she stayed that way until finally there was a soft knock on the door.
“My lady? My lady, are you all right?”
Marion. Oh, God. Scarlett had been so caught up in her own troubles she had completely forgotten Marion. And now Mr. Spicer would be long gone with his master. In running from Hunter, she had effectively kept the two of them from one another.
“Marion!” she cried, opening the door, and the girl practically stumbled in. “Oh, Marion, I’m so sorry. I never thought … I should have?—”
“It’s fine,” said Marion with a gentle smile. “We will sort it out. I couldn’t leave you, not now. Not like this. I’m sorry, my lady, but I couldn’t help overhearing your exchange with Lord Oxford. Do you not think you could come to enjoy London? Perhaps in due time? You could even go back and forth between here and the city, could you not?”
“You are likely right, Marion,” Scarlett said with a sigh, making her way to the window, her cloak trailing on the floor behind her. The carriage was no longer in sight, long passed into the snowy drifts beyond. “I could, I suppose. I want a life with him, I do, but I fear once we are in London,ourlife will becomehislife. And should anything happen, I will be completely lost.”
“Like your mother.”
“Like my mother.”
“I do not believe Lord Oxford is like your father, if I may be so bold to say, my lady,” said Marion hesitantly. “Though only you know that for sure.”
“Have I made a mistake?” Scarlett asked, turning from the window, looking beseechingly at her maid.
“That is not for me to say, my lady,” murmured Marion. “Just know that I am here for you, whatever you may need.”
“Thank you, Marion,” Scarlett said with a soft smile.
“Oh, and my lady…” Marion pulled out a package that had been hidden behind her back. “My lord asked me to give this to you.”
What in heavens…? Scarlett looked at Marion with some question as she took the small package wrapped in brown paper. She turned it over in her hands, pulling on the twine that bound it together.
“Whatever could this be?” she murmured, intent on opening it.
“I wouldn’t know, my lady,” responded Marion. “Would you like me to leave?”
“No, no, stay,” Scarlett said as she walked to her vanity, sitting down on the stool in front of it. She finally managed to tear off the remaining packaging, and she pulled out a piece of clothing. As she unfurled the garment, a piece of paper fell out, and as curious as she was of the gift, she needed to know first of the note.
“Happy Christmas, my love,”was all it said. And in her hands she held a pair of breeches, looking as though they were tailored exactly to fit her. Tears sprung up anew in her eyes, but this time for another reason entirely. He not only loved her, but heknewher. He loved her despite the fact that she rode a horse in the most unladylike fashion possible, and he not only accepted it but he was encouraging it.
“There are words written on the back, my lady,” Marion said in a near whisper.
Scarlett picked up the paper she had discarded on the vanity.
“While this is not a tangible gift, I have set up a foundation for you. You can choose the charities, be they in the village or within London. The funds are available and you may manage it, however you see fit.”
She blinked. Did he mean it? She knew she had told him of what she wanted, but for him to go ahead, to create something for her, was unbelievable. It would give her purpose, outside of simply a life created around him.
As the tears slid down her cheeks, she thought of how he had embraced Christmastide, despite the fact that he was not particularly enamored with the holiday. He had shown her with his lovemaking how much he desired her, had stood up for herto his parents, to his friends, staying by her side whenever she needed him.
And all of this after she had been so frosty toward him. And then she left him, unable to overcome her doubts.
She had made a mistake, allowing her fear to overrule all else, even her love for him. She had to make things right, to tell him exactly how she felt.
He had taken the carriage. Surely she could catch him on horseback.
She began to don the breeches, calling out to Marion to find her riding gear.
“I must catch him, Marion.I must!”
As the carriagetrundled down the bumpy road away from Wintervale, Hunter felt like he had left a piece of himself behind. In just over a week, his wife had become as much a part of him as one of his very own limbs. When he returned home, he had hoped they could find a way to come together in a true partnership, but never could he have imagined forging a bond so strong. He had thought she felt the same, had tried to coax the words out of her, but they never came. Had he simply been imagining her response to him? He had told her he loved her time and again, and all he had received in return was a warm smile, a gentle kiss, or tender words that were welcomed but did not return his sentiments.