Page 39 of Happily Never After
Gina’s face is a mask of suspicion, but she evidently realises she’s fallen into a trap of her own making and has no option but to try to style it out.
‘Really?’ she says smoothly. ‘I’m sure we’d all love to help. What’s the problem?’
‘I’m struggling with synonyms for an erect penis,’ Lynette announces triumphantly, causing Gina to flinch. ‘I’ve used all the usual ones – cock, shaft and so on. Throbbing member is a possibility, but that just sounds a bit like an angry bank manager at a golf club. Any ideas?’
‘For God’s sake!’ Gina exclaims, clearly trying to cut her off, but the damage is done. Lynette is beaming with delight. ‘There must be someone around this table who is writing something we can discuss in a civilised manner. Finn, tell us about you.’
‘I’d prefer to keep my project under wraps for the time being,’ Finn says tactfully, impressing me with his ability to dodge Gina’s question.
Thankfully, the conversation pauses as Cara and Hugh bring out the starters. The terrine is not quite what I was expecting; it’s basically small pieces of meat and vegetables in a kind of jelly and doesn’t look particularly appetising, but I can almost hear Liv’s voice in my ear telling me not to judge it without tasting it first.
‘How is it?’ Finn asks as I take a mouthful.
‘It’s OK, actually. More flavour than I was expecting.’
‘Interesting. Gina, Suzie and Grace are obviously enjoying it too.’
I follow his gaze and have to stifle a laugh as Gina takes a big mouthful, closing her eyes and sighing as she chews. You’d think she was tasting a fine wine rather than a slightly unusual pâté.
‘This is fabulous,’ she says when Cara emerges from the kitchen a moment or two later. ‘You must give me the recipe.’
‘I’m happy to do that, but I have to warn you that it is a bit of a faff to make and you might struggle to find some of the ingredients in England.’
‘Oh, I’m sure there isn’t anything here that the chap in our charming local delicatessen can’t source,’ Gina says dismissively. ‘If he can get the ingredients for an Ottolenghi recipe, I’m sure he won’t struggle with a rustic French dish like this.’
‘Fair enough,’ Cara replies. ‘There aren’t any set quantities, but basically you start by boiling the head of a pig or wild boar and a couple of trotters for three hours or so.’
‘I’m sorry,’ Suzie interrupts, looking horrified. ‘Are you saying there’s a pig’sheadin this?’
‘Absolutely. All the meaty parts of the terrine come from the head, especially the cheeks and tongue, but there’s also some from the ears and snout. The jelly is made from the stock the head was boiled in, and then you simply add vegetables and aromatics. It’s not actually hard, it just takes a long time.’
‘That’sdisgusting!’ Grace cries, shoving her plate away from her so hard that it almost falls off the other side of the table. Suzie looks like she might be about to cry and Gina has raised her napkin to her lips, not-so-subtly ejecting the terrine from her mouth into it.
‘Quand en France…’ Lynette says triumphantly, earning herself a filthy look from Gina.
‘I do think,’ Gina says, evidently trying to rescue the situation, ‘that it would be wise in future to warn us, Cara, before serving foods that might be morechallengingto a British palate. We’re all adventurers on life’s journey and I’m as open minded as the next person, but sometimes we might need to dip a toe into the waters of a country’s morebarbaricpractices before jumping in completely, if that makes sense.’
‘I’m sorry, but I can’t let that go unchallenged,’ Finn tells her. ‘I’ll confess that I had the soup because I googled the terrine before making my choice and realised it wouldn’t be for me. Correct me if I’m wrong here, Cara, but isn’t it basically the same as brawn, which is as British as they come?’
‘There are a few minor differences, but the basic ingredients are the same,’ Cara agrees. ‘I’m sorry you didn’t like it, Gina, and I’ll certainly provide trigger warnings in future if you think they might help. Simply make a list of things you’re not keen on. Did you like it, Laura?’
‘It’s actually really nice, even if the texture is a little unusual. My best friend Liv would approve, too. She’s a big fan of nose-to-tail eating, not wasting any part of an animal, so I’m sure she’s come across it in her travels.’
I glance up the table towards Gina, who is no longer looking even vaguely smug any more. I know I said I wasn’t going to enter into the politics between her and Lynette, but she’s being so insufferable that I can’t resist. Unfortunately for Finn, he’s also put himself firmly in her crosshairs after challenging her so openly, so I suspect she’ll be looking for any excuse to bring him down, whether I’m acting as a human shield or not.
At least it’s not dull, I suppose.
15
‘Cup of tea?’ I ask Finn some time later. Once again, I’ve been so firmly in the zone, making sure every detail of my murder scene is correct, that I’ve had to rely on my phone alarm to make me get to my feet and move. Finn is still on his bench, but does at least have his eyes open and a notebook in his hand.
‘We might need to wait a little while,’ he tells me. ‘Gina’s on the terrace with Tess and it didn’t sound like it was going particularly well earlier.’
‘Hm. Well, if she doesn’t want to air her dirty linen in public, then there are plenty of more private places they could have their meeting. I don’t see why I should be denied a cup of tea simply because she’s there. Coming?’
Finn gets to his feet. ‘Sure. Why not?’
As we approach the terrace, I can hear what he means. Although I can’t make out the individual words, I can hear Gina’s voice sounding a bit agitated, interrupted occasionally by Tess’s more measured tones.
