Page 38 of Happily Never After
‘That’s one option, and I’ve written a few like that, but it’s by no means the only trope in the genre.’
‘Really?’
‘Yes, “whodunnit”, which is what you’re talking about, is a fairly common trope. But you can also have stories where the murderer is known but their motive is unclear until the end, for example.’
‘A “whydunnit”.’
‘Exactly. So, in this book, I’m playing with a few tropes. The first half of the book focuses on the abusive relationship between Darren and Claire.’
‘Sounds grim. Do people want to read that kind of thing?’
‘People are inherently voyeuristic. It’s why we all crane our necks when we pass a car crash, even though we know we shouldn’t. So yes, even though it’s grim, as you put it, there’s a market.’
‘Right, so you’ve got your abusive relationship and then she kills him. I might be being dim here, but isn’t there still meant to be an element of suspense?’
‘Absolutely. So, what the reader will know when they buy the book is that it contains at least one murder that will have repercussions years later. What theydon’tknow until the scene I’ve just written is whether Darren is going to kill her or the other way around. I’ve been very careful to lay breadcrumbs along the way, hopefully pointing the finger towards Darren killing Claire in an attack that goes too far.’
‘So it’s a surprise when she turns out to be the killer instead. I like it.’
‘Thank you.’
It’s no surprise, however, to find that Gina and her acolytes are already ensconced at the head of the table when we arrive. Tess is sitting next to Suzie, so I take the place opposite her and motion Finn to sit next to me so I’m a barrier between him and Grace. I’m just congratulating myself on my tactics when I realise that I’ve left a massive open goal, as the only place for Lynette to sit is now opposite Finn. What I’m unprepared for, however, is that she doesn’t look happy about it either when she joins us a minute or two later. She’s almost scowling with displeasure, but it’s only when I see the delighted expression on Gina’s face that I realise I’ve played a double fault because I’ve also denied Lynette direct access to needle her sister and her cronies.
‘I’ve got a choice of starter for you today,’ Cara tells us as she places jugs of iced water and carafes of wine on the table. ‘I’ve made a vegetarian version ofsoupe à l’oignongratinée à l’ancienne, which is a traditional French onion soup with a crouton and a layer of grated Gruyère cheese on the top, or, for the meat lovers, a kind of pork terrine calledCivier Bressan, which is very popular throughout France. It goes by a variety of names and many regions claim credit for inventing it but I stick with the traditional one, which is that it originates from Bourg-en-Bresse.’
‘Ooh, they both sound delicious,’ Grace coos next to me. ‘What are you going to have, Gina?’
‘What does it matter what she has, Grace?’ Lynette snaps grumpily. ‘You’ve got a brain of your own, haven’t you? Why not bring it out of retirement and choose what you’d actually like, rather than mindlessly following her all the time.’
‘Someone got out of bed the wrong side this morning,’ Gina observes smugly before turning to an indignantly pink Grace. ‘But you know how I love all things French. “Quand en France,fais comme les Français”, asI always say. I’ll have the terrine, please, Cara.’
‘I think I’ll have that too,’ Grace says, causing Lynette to snort derisively.
‘And me,’ Suzie adds.
‘Soup for me, please,’ Tess says. ‘I’m a vegetarian.’
‘Yes, I’ll have the soup as well,’ Finn says, hastily putting down his phone as Cara glances at him.
‘Terrine,’ Lynette practically barks, staring at Gina as if willing her to question her choice.
‘I’ll have the terrine as well,’ I say. I’m sure Cara’s onion soup is delicious, but it’s something that Liv makes regularly, and I can’t see myself enjoying it without the richness of the beef stock to underpin it.
‘So,’ Finn says to me once Cara has disappeared to deal with our orders. ‘Claire stabs him in the neck. That sounds messy.’
‘Oh, it is,’ I reply. ‘If you hit the carotid arteries, you’re looking at literal fountains of blood and the victim will likely bleed out within a minute or two. That’s the tricky bit I’ve got to navigate now.’
‘How so?’
‘First of all, I have to consider the angle of attack. She’s right-handed and standing behind him when she stabs him, so we’re looking at the right carotid artery. All the initial bleeding will therefore be to the right-hand side of them.’
‘Yup, that seems straightforward enough.’
‘Now you need to think about what happens. He’s bending over the sink when she hits him with the kettle, because he’s trying to get to the cold water to splash it on his face. The force of that blow is going to stun him for a moment, so he’s still there when she stabs him for the first time. The initial spurt will therefore be low level, probably across the worktop. However, what’s the first thing he’s going to do when he feels her plungethe knife in? He’s going to straighten up and probably turn around, so now you’re looking at an arc of arterial spray across the wall. Also, she’s now going to be stabbing him on the left of his neck.’
‘Must you?’ Gina interrupts crossly. ‘I know this kind of thing is absolutely fascinating to people like you, but it’s hardly suitable for the dinner table. Perhaps someone else would like to contribute a more tasteful snippet of their morning’s work?’
‘I’ve been struggling with something that I’d appreciate the group’s help with, actually,’ Lynette says quickly.
