Page 53 of Finding Forgiveness
“I’m not okay, this … this news changes everything.”
“Aww, Con. I wish there was something I could say to make things better.”
“There’s nothing you can say that will change what I learnt today.” I swallow thickly, trying to remove the lump that’s now formed in my throat. The anger I was feeling moments ago is slowly fading, and the sadness is settling in. “Did she tell you what happened to the baby?”
“No. She could barely string two words together.”
“Do you think it’s wise to leave her alone?”
“I’m just going to drop Blake at school, then I’m heading straight back to your apartment. I made her promise she wouldn’t do anything stupid while I’m gone. She was more concerned about you, but I told her it may seem hopeless right now, but things will work themselves out in the end.”
I scoff, I can’t help it. Things will never be the same between us again. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive her for this.
When court breaks for lunch, I pack up my things and hightail it outside. I don’t speak a word to anyone as I do. I’m sure my client and the courthouse staff—who have dealt with me numerous times in the past—have noticed I’m not my usual jovial self today. I’ve been snappy and short with everyone.
I shouldn’t have come, but in the end, it seemed like the more logical idea. Being on my own gave me too much time to think … to seethe, to wallow. I needed a distraction and short of finding the nearest seedy pub so I could drink myself into oblivion, this seemed like a more responsible choice.
Once I’ve exited the building, the first thing I do is pull out my phone and turn it on. I usually leave it on silent, but this morning, I needed to remove myself from the situation completely. Yet here I am, the first chance I get, eager to see if there’s any news from my sister.
I’m not surprised to see I have two messages waiting for me. I also have a missed call from an unknown number.
I open the messages from Jaz, and an uneasy feeling settles over me as I do. Nothing she can say will make this okay, but I’m more concerned about Cassandra if I’m being honest. I may be distraught by her revelation, but even the angry side of me is invested in her wellbeing.
Jaz: Just letting you know I’m back here with Cass. I won’t leave her side, so you don’t have to worry. Hope you’re doing okay. I love you. Call me if you need to talk. x
I’m relieved to know she’s there, but that feeling vanishes the moment I read the next message.
Jaz: She’s gone. I tried to stop her, but she said she needed some space … some time alone. I’m sorry, but I couldn’t keep her here against her will, even though I wanted to. She promised me she’d call when she got to wherever it is she’s going. She left you a letter, it’s on the kitchen table. I have no idea what it says.
I close the thread and call her.
“Con,” she says when she answers.
“Have you heard from her yet?”
“No, she left about an hour ago.”
“Fuck.”
“She’s not going to do anything stupid.”
“How do you know that?”
“I just do. I would’ve tired her to a chair if I thought she was.”
“I hope you’re right, Jaz.” I tilt my head back, pinching the bridge of my nose with my free hand. “Did she give you any indication where she might be going?”
“No, but when she was in the bathroom packing her toiletries, I slid my apple tracker off my keys and hid it in the front zipper pocket of her suitcase.”
“Jaz!”
“I know it’s illegal Mr Law-abiding-citizen, and I’m not going to track her, it was purely a strategic move on my part … an in-case-of-an-emergency reassurance. I panicked, sue me.”
“I get why you did it, but …”
“I believed her when she said she needed space … she thought you’d want some too, but I was worried about her leaving on her own.”
I look down when I see another call coming through. It’s the unknown number again. Against my better judgement, I decide to answer it.
