Page 40 of Level Up
“I got your message,” she says when she takes a step back, giving me a sympathetic head tilt. “How’s it going?”
“Uhhhhh, weird.” I look down at the list pad in my hand and continue along the shelf to pick the last couple of items. “Very weird.”
“Good weird?”
I purse my lips, not sure how to answer that. “Maybe? But probably not.”
“Well, I’m intrigued.” She takes the basket from my hands and nods towards the back of the shop so we can speak privately.
I quickly grab the last item as we pass it on a display and then lead Victory to the back room where I pack up orders. I start to sort the items into piles, but she puts her hands over mine to stop me and urges me towards a couple of stools to take a seat.
“I’m here for you no matter what, Audrey,” she says, still holding my hands between hers.
I take a deep breath. “Okay, so… You know how I went for coffee with Damien yesterday?”
She nods but doesn’t say anything.
“Well, uh, we ended up going to my apartment to watchFrozenafterwards,” I say, and she stares at me blankly for a moment.
“That is not what I thought you were going to say,” she says with a small laugh. “I mean, I can’t imagine you being friends with someone andnotinflicting that upon them, so I don’t know what’s weird about that.”
“That’s not the weird part.” I grimace as I try to gather the nerve to tell her the rest. “When we were sitting there, after the movie, we were just talking or whatever, and I… I sort of wanted to kiss him.”
Victory’s eyebrows shoot up. “You kissed him?”
“No, Iwantedto,” I tell her with emphasis. “Just, like, the thought crossed my mind.”
“Okay…” she says slowly. “And that’s bad?”
“Well, it’sweird,” I scoff. “I almost never want tokisspeople.”
“But you have wanted to sometimes,” she points out. “And you like him, so it makes sense, I guess.”
“But not likethat,” I reply defensively, and she gives me a skeptical look.
“Kissing isn’t inherently sexual, anyway.” She gives my hand a squeeze before letting go. “You can want to kiss someone and still not be interested in sex.”
I sigh impatiently. “I know that. But it’s notjustthat.”
This piques her interest again, but she doesn’t say anything.
I look across the tiny storeroom as I internally debate whether or not I want to share this with my best friend, but ultimately, I know I will. I share (almost) everything with her. “I had adreamlast night,” I say, and she watches me like she’s waiting for me to continue, even though I thought I’d made my point. “Adream, Vic.”
She looks confused. “Okay?”
“Like…asex dream,” I add in a harsh whisper after making sure there’s no one within earshot.
“About Damien?” Her eyebrows nearly disappear into her hairline.
I cover my face with both hands and groan in agony. “Something is wrong with me.”
“Well, first of all, dreams don’t always mean anything,” she says reassuringly. “But also, there’s nothingwrongwith you for being interested in someone. Even if you usually don’t feel that way.”
“Okay, but last time I wanted to kiss a guy who was my friend, it wasbad,” I remind her. “Likeeternal humiliationbad.”
“You said yourself that Damien is nothing like Cameron. And you’re not going to lose youronlyfriend if you tell him. I’ll always be here.”
“I’m not going totellhim!” I squawk. “I don’t even know what any of this means. I had a goddamnsex dream”—the words come out in a hiss—“and Ienjoyedit.”
