Page 9 of Level Up
I smirk as the chat erupts with viewers shoutingTHOCKat me, and I hold out myDon’t get thocky, kidt-shirt proudly. My usuals always love to make fun of me whenever I use the obnoxious keyboard-enthusiast term—it’s one of my favourite parts of the stream.
ToastOnBeans:Who else does shots when she says it?
WonkyWillow:I don’t think my liver could take it.
“Okay, let’s settle down, come on,” I say playfully. “We’ve got some Greymist shopkeepers to assist with our mechanical arm, so let’s get to it.”
I explain the premise ofSteampunk 1877, for anyone who’s unfamiliar, and start walking around town to take in the gritty-yet-cozy steampunk setting. A half hour into the stream, it even starts to rain in the game, and I pause to pull my half-finished blanket over my legs to make the whole thing extra cozy.
Thisis what I love. Immersing myself in a fantastical world that somehow still feels like home and chatting with people around the world who love these games as much as I do. I don’t have to think too hard or worry too much, I can justbe.
More people join the chat as the stream continues, and I get a few more questions aboutSOA—as well as a couple of rude comments about it that my volunteer moderator deletes pretty quickly—but for the most part, it’s just like any other Monday night.
HeySMR:Audrey, you are looking hot tonight.
I laugh when I read the comment. “Helmi, aren’t you supposed to be asleep?” I say to my friend, the only person on Play’N who uses my real name, even though it’s not a secret. “It’s, like, four a.m. there.”
HeySMR:I had to stay up and watch you play my favourite game, lovely.
“Guys, tell Helmi to go to sleep,” I say before turning my attention back to the NPC I’m currently talking to in-game, who looks like he’s about to try and mug me in this alleyway. I’d forgotten this part when I walked up to him. “Okay, I think I’m going to have to rip this guy’s head off, so look away if you’re squeamish.”
I engage in brief combat with the thief when he points a gun at me, because I’m not about to let this asshole get a penny out of me. Not when I have to go and buy the clockmaker some magic crystals in order for him to upgrade my arm.
When I look at the chat again, there are a few people telling Helmi to go to sleep, and a couple of comments about how badass my character looked while ripping apart that mugger—surprisingly. As well as a comment from someone I never expected to see in my streams in a million years:
SconesOfAyor:If you loot that guy’s body, you can sometimes get a rare item.
I stare at the message for a few seconds, baffled, but then I choose to do the only mature and civil thing I can think to do: I ignore him. Even though it means passing up on potentiallycool loot. (I make a mental note to go back and find this corpse after I finish streaming.)
The rest of the stream goes by in a bit of a blur; I can’t stop thinking about the fact thatScones of bloody Ayornot only watched my stream but also mansplained how looting works. Or something. Whatever it was, it was condescending as hell and not appreciated.
And yet I still can’t stop thinking about it after the stream is over, after I’ve done a few more missions on my own to try and clear my head, even after I brush my teeth and get into bed and try to sleep. Sleep doesn’t come easily.
For the past week, Scones has bent over backwards to avoid saying anything about me at all, and now he’s leaving unsolicited advice onmystreams. If I didn’t hate him before, I certainly do now.
I finally do fall asleep, trying to envision myself tearing his head off,Steampunk 1877style, but the last thing I picture before sleep takes me is the guy with theSteampunkshirt in the shop today, looking at me like I was a freak, just for existing. Just for taking up space where I clearly didn’t belong.
It’s getting harder and harder to figure out where I do belong, though.
Purple fields. Green skies. Yellow oceans. The world is yours to create inPaper Plains, the latest release from the creators of bestselling gamesCloud QuestandWaveLength.
Cut, tear, and layer paper in every colour of the rainbow to build your scene, and help our hero move through the world.
Unlock new colours in each level, face new challenges, and use your paper-piecing skills to solve relaxing puzzles as you shape our hero’s journey.
Build bridges, move mountains, carve paths through the landscape and lead our hero home.
What sort of world will you create today?
— Promo forPaper Plainson Play’N, released March 3, 2022
four
the one with the slutty vampire
I’ve already informedmy mother that I won’t be available to work in the shop on Wednesday or Thursday: my plan is to spend all day Wednesday sleeping in preparation to spend all of Thursday playingThe Stones of Ayor 4.
But when Wednesday rolls around, I can’t sleep. I’ve mostly been able to keep my excitement under wraps the last few weeks, but as the hours tick closer, it starts bubbling to the surface more and more. Even the flaming pit of rage in my stomach after the whole speedrun debacle isn’t enough to dampen my spirits anymore.
