Page 60 of The Tsarina's Favorite
The faint moment of humor cleared her face of prior concerns.I appreciated the unguarded look.She could still smile without it furthering strategy or hiding ulterior motives.She still possessed a core of authenticity that was so rare, so precious, that I hoped she could leave Ilyichia before that light was put out forever.Her dark eyes sparkled with a touch of mischief as she held my gaze without any of the usual revulsion or wariness I received from others.
“Not that I am in a hurry to be a fixture at the tsarina’s feet,” I said, hesitant to disturb the only moment of genuine connection I had shared with another in such a long time, “but we should go.I do not want you to get into trouble on my behalf.If she should say anything, you can blame me.”
“That’s very noble,” she said, her mouth twisting in dismay.“I think you get too much of her ire though.”
“I prefer her ire to her favor since they both look the same.”
“I don’t know how to make any of this easier.”She gripped the chain, not as a tug but as a gesture of resolve.“We will go slowly.Just be careful.”She met my eyes with a deliberate intensity.“And I do not just mean on the stairs.”
XX.
After several morenights in the tsarina’s room and days kept at her feet unmuzzled and quiet, unhooded and obedient, she finally permitted me to have my arms unbound.The leather bands and the ties that dangled from them remained to remind me of how tenuous my new allowance.The guards objected to my unbound wrists, but when the tsarina called them cowards and threatened them with being put to death because I sat beside her unbound for days and she did not fear, they relented.
When the caretaker noticed my new freedom, he left me a marrow bone between meals.Although I left it beside the barely-touched slab of gray meat on the plate, I recognized the attempt at kindness.The princess too noticed my complete disinterest when she later came by, a basket at her side.
“Not in the mood for typical raptor feed or treats?”She set the basket down on the bench and approached the pavilion.“Did she completely spoil your appetite with fancy court fare?”
“So it is true.You truly do not have anything better to do than waste your time with me.”
“You should feel honored that I deign to give you any company at all.”
“Naturally, as you are so illustrious,” I added with a little bite to it, “princess.”
“You’re a brat!”She folded her arms over her chest.“But I suppose that is half the reason I like you.”
“And the other half?”I rose from the ground and folded my arms over my chest in imitation.
“I haven’t figured that out yet.But I will be sure to let you know if I have any epiphanies.”
“Please do.”
Her cape fluttered in the breeze.If I were able, I would have been bundled up in a fur-lined cloak and gloves.I supposed I was wearing a cloak and gloves since my birdness had been bound up in my attire, but I still shivered.
“Aren’t you cold?”I asked.
“It’s always cold in Ilyichia.”
