Page 61 of The Tsarina's Favorite
“You should be wearing a heavier cloak.”
“You’re unbound today,” she said, ignoring my concern.
“Only my wrists.”I unfolded my arms and held my hands out, palms up.I moved one foot forward to show her that my ankles were still connected and those still attached to the bolt in the ground.“But my shoulders are grateful.”
“No other creature in the menagerie is kept as you are.”
“She knows I would escape.”
“Where would you go?”
It was a good question.I didn’t know.Where in the wide world could I go like this?
“Anywhere,” I said.“It’s only a matter of principle now.”
“I too would go anywhere.”
“More poetry today?”I asked, gesturing to the basket.
“Not quite.”She retrieved it and joined me under the shelter.She set the basket down and touched the chain that dangled from the collar.“Isn’t that annoying?”
“It is not the worst thing I have worn.”
“Could you bend down a bit?”When I leaned over, she gathered the chain and tied it in a cluster so that it didn’t swing.“Now, sit, and I’ll show you what I brought.”
I obeyed and sat with my tail feathers splayed behind me and my legs crossed in front.
She sat across from me, the basket between us, her skirts fanned out on the dirt and straw.She opened one side of the basket and removed a book.Then she began pulling out things that were most definitely not books.She laid a thin floral blanket beside the basket upon which she set two lidded casserole dishes, two plates of the palace’s bone china, several of the palace linen napkins unfolded and tied in parcels, and cutlery.
“You never seem to eat much of what they give you out here,” the princess said, “so I’ve been paying attention to what you do eat.”She began untying the napkins to reveal pastries, cheese wedges, cured meats, breads, and roast chicken.She lifted the lids from the covered dishes.“I also brought caviar and soup.I plan on talking to your caretaker to see if you can get food you will actually eat.”She met my eyes expectantly.“Well?”
“How did you manage all this?”
“I asked for a picnic lunch and just couldn’t make up my mind.So they gave me a bit of everything!”
I wouldn’t cry.I wouldn’t.But at a time when I thought I might never experience an ounce of thoughtfulness from anyone again, it was sorely tempting to do so.
“I don’t like the idea of you not eating because she doesn’t feel like feeding you.”
I took a deep breath and focused on the food.I almost said thank you, but that was not how we communicated.I didn’t want her to know how deeply this affected me.
“I bet you’re just fattening me up so you can sacrifice me to The Kind and Fair this winter,” I said when I finally could speak without my voice trembling.
“I hadn’t thought of that,” she admitted as she chose food for herself.“If you pester me enough, that’s exactly what I’ll do.”
“Not if the tsarina sacrifices me first.”
“She could sacrifice any of us.We all live in fear of her.”The princess took a bite of the chicken, chewed, and then set it down with the arrival of another thought.“She ill-uses you.”
“That implies that I have a use at all, and I do not.”
“Oh, but you do — to keep me company!And that is a great honor, you know.”
“So you have said.”
“Does she know you’re intelligent?”
“No,” I lied.“She thinks me a stupid creature.It’s easier that way.”
