Page 84 of The Tsarina's Favorite
“The robe is beautiful,” I said.“It’s finer than wedding clothes, and much finer than anything I have seen worn at court.”
“It suits you completely.”She released one hand to smooth down the guard hairs of the sable fur on the collar.“It doesn’t interfere with your tail feathers, does it?”
“No.Thank you.”
She leaned her head against my arm and watched us together in the mirror, her fingers laced through mine, a small dreamy smile playing at the corners of her mouth.Was she imagining the day she could return to Altania?Or maybe of the day we could go together?Whatever her pleasant thoughts, I so longed to be part of them, even if my role consisted of nothing more than sitting silently at her feet while she read to me by the fire.
I could not imagine any future, however unpleasant all my current options seemed to be, without her there, somewhere, being part of my life.The most, and best, I could hope for would be to be her pet in Altania.My obstinate mouth would probably not let me be silent for the rest of my days, but in Altania, she would set the standards, and I may not have to watch myself so carefully.Although, since I knew almost no Altanian, I may not have much to say.
And if she couldn’t have me or didn’t want me there....?
I tried not to think about that.It was a real possibility that, despite talking to me of going to Altania, she would not be allowed to bring me if her brother refused.Or, worse, if my presence was so wrapped up with Ilyichia and her unpleasant time trapped here, she might wish to leave me behind, even despite her protests.
I didn’t know when this pint-sized princess had wormed her way into my heart, but she was there, tucked safely away, and there was no way to extract her now.I didn’t ever want to be without her.And the contemplation of separation hurt worse than I could comprehend — almost like losing Irena all over again.
“You really like it?”she asked.
“You’ve given me back some of my dignity.”I squeezed her hand.“Thank you.”
“I know clothes are somewhat superficial, but they make the point.No one else may understand how special you are, but I do.And I want everyone to see it.”She hugged my arm.“And I want everyone to know how special you are to me.”
XXVI.
Alaina joined me inthe anteroom shortly after her maid left.Freshly powered, her dark braids wrapped about her head, and wearing a dress that could probably hide an entire herd of sheep beneath it without anyone the wiser, her expression did not convey the same careful attention as the rest of her.She twisted her fan in her hands and kept fussing with the ribbon around her decolletage.
“I fear it will be a late night,” she said.
“What’s tonight?”I stood from my place by the fire and crossed over to her.
“Some musicians from the south.”
“Is that not to your liking?”
“It’s not that,” she said.“It should be a pleasant night, musically anyway.”
“Then?”
