Page 81 of Forever Flames: Padraig & Stevie
I smile at the sound of the girls’ voices from upstairs. “Yeah. I am. Truthfully, I stopped mourning the part of my life I gave to Padraig after we hooked up the last time in New York. He and I had a good run. Our future goals were not aligned.”
“You never told him, did you?” Joni reminds me of the one thing I never disclosed to my husband about Padraig and my relationship.
“No. He knew I went to the show. I never told him Padraig and I had sex and he never asked,” I admit. “I stand behind the decision, too. Coop and I weren’t officially together. We didn’t make things official until about a month later. As you know, the condom slipped the first time we had sex and I got pregnant with Isla. By this point, we were fully committed to each other and the rest doesn’t matter.”
As we finish our lunch, I gush about how fundamentally terrific Cooper is. Steady, solid, dependable. Devoted dad. Easy on the eyes. All the things I love about him.
Coop’s the kind of man who always picks up after himself, never forgets my birthday or our anniversary, gets home at six sharp unless something blows up at work. He devotes himself to making all of our lives easier. He’s kind to everyone, whether they are high-end clients or cashiers at fast food restaurants.
Our sex is great too. He’s caring and always puts me first. It’s not the all-consuming frenzied fire I once knew with Padraig. It’s a different kind of connection. We have the same hopes and dreams. We like the same things. Value our time at home. Never fight.
The two of us make a conscious effort to fill our house with love. For each other, our children and the little boy we haven’t met who is currently trying to push his way through my ribs. The bottom line is I’m looking forward to a lifetime of making memories in this house together and my past with Padraig has no place here.
“In case you’re worried about running in to him, Padraig and Liam are barely in Seattle. They’re constantly on tour or winning Grammys,” Joni reminds me. “You’ll probably not even run into them.”
“Whether I do or not, I’m indifferent,” I insist. “He’s bound to have moved on by now.”
Truth is, the possibility of seeing Padraig is highly likely at some point. Our parents live next door to each other. Enough time has passed, though. If we crossed paths, I could absolutely handle it now.
As for him, who knows.
“Have you watched Ziggy’s live streams from Europe?” Joni changes the subject. “I swear the kid’s allergic to staying in one place for more than a week.”
“I have. My prediction is he’ll wander the entire world and somehow end up exactly where he started.” I smile at the thought of my little brother who, unlike me, harbors a dose of the wanderlust.
“Yep. Back at Mom and Dad’s house,” Joni teases. “Speaking of, they’re somewhere off the coast of Italy right now, living their best cruise life.”
“God, they’re obsessed.” I laugh. “They’ve become the kind of people who plan their next cruise while they’re on the current one.”
“They’re happy.”
“They sure are,” I agree.
“Mommmmmy!” Isla barrels into the living room, bunny in hand. “We made a fort!”
Lila follows, beaming. “Come see!”
“Let’s have a look and then it’s time for you to eat.” I groan as I push to my feet. Carrying a boy is no joke. Jude makes everything about three times harder. “If I get stuck crawling in, you’re responsible for getting me out.”
Joni laughs and follows us up to the great room, where the girls have draped every blanket they could find over the unpacked boxes. It’s crooked and lumpy and perfect.
“Do you like it, Mama?” Lila tugs at my shirt, her face glowing with pride.
“I love it.” I crouch down with effort. “Can I see inside?”
“Yes!” Isla grabs my hand and pulls me toward the entrance.
Joni catches my eye as I lower myself carefully onto the floor. She doesn’t say anything, but her smile says it all.
We both know I’m exactly where I’m meant to be.
twenty-three
Padraig
One week Later
Connor’sBelfastestateislike something out of the movies.
