Page 82 of Forever Flames: Padraig & Stevie
A kind of place I doubt he ever dreamed he’d own one day.
Iron gates groan open ahead of me as my taxi drives through, tires crunching over the gravel covering the long lane up to the house, which is sprawling and elegant, made up of cleanlines and weathered stone. To the side stands a detached triple garage with a loft perched above it like a watchtower. The whole property looks out over Belfast Lough. On a clear day you could probably see all the way to Scotland.
Today, however, it’s a typical stormy autumn day in Ireland and the slate-gray expanse is speckled with whitecaps. Wind cuts across the open fields with enough bite to make me pull my collar up.
The front door swings open before I reach it. “Ach, there you are!” my aunt Saoirse calls, her Belfast accent wrapping around every syllable as warm as the tea I know she’s going to force on me. She wears jeans and a sweatshirt with a scarf wrapped haphazardly around her hair.
“Aunt Saoirse.” I can’t help but smile as I step inside and stamp the chill off my boots.
“Come in, come in.” She ushers me toward her with a brisk wave and pulls me in for a hug only an Irish auntie can get away with. It’s comforting. She smells faintly of lavender soap and fresh paint. “We’ve got more to do than daylight for it. Connor wants the master suite ready for himself and Ronni when they arrive next week. Grab yourself a pair of gloves, lad. You’re not here for decoration.”
I laugh under my breath and hang my jacket by the door. Saoirse’s always been direct, efficient, and not afraid to tell you exactly what needs doing. She’s Da’s older sister, and in a way she’s become a second mother to Connor, Liam and me whenever we’re touring Europe.
I follow her up the stairs. Connor’s bedroom stretches out across the top floor, glass doors opening to a balcony overlooking the lough. “It’s bloody huge.”
“Apparently, Connor, the famous rockstar, doesn’t do things by halves.” She quirks a small smile. “He’s worked hard for this. About time he has a place to call his own.”
Internally, I wince at the inevitable comparison between LTZ’s trajectory to Fireball’s. In the music industry, even though we’ve been at it much longer, we’re drastically less successful than Connor’s band.
“Yeah, well, he can afford to hire professionals instead of roping in his relatives.” I roll my shoulders and shake out my arms.
Saoirse snorts. “Aye, and give the neighbors more reason to talk? He’s in love with a famous actress, Padraig. They’re keeping it quiet. You know how the Irish love their gossip.”
“Fair enough,” I acknowledge.
Once we move the furniture out into the hallway, Saoirse hands me a roller and points to the far wall to prime over a dark-blue hue the previous owners painted the room. I set to work, muscles moving on autopilot. Throughout my teenage years, before Da’s accident, Liam and I had no choice but to help out at McGloughlin Construction from time to time. I’m surprised at how good it feels to use my hands for something other than drumming.
Maybe I should take up art again.
Before long, the scent of fresh paint clings to the air as the walls change from outdated blue to soft white. Outside, the wind howls against the glass.
Saoirse breaks the silence first. “How’s your band, then?”
“Still standing.” I glance over my shoulder at her. “For now.”
She’s tilts her head like she’s trying to delve through the words I’m saying, into the mess underneath. “For now? What do you mean?”
“Koko’s leaving in a couple of months,” I admit, turning back to the wall. “She’s been offered a production deal in LA. Can’t blame her for taking it, she’s too talented not to. I’m so tired of the same pattern, though.. We find a singer, build momentum for a few years and then they’re gone. Liam and I are holding ittogether with duct tape at this point. Each time, I don’t know if I have it in me to start over, but I do it. Not sure if it’s worth it, though. I’m getting sick of living on the road.”
I dip the roller into the tray and pause, reflecting on the history of the band Liam and I have somehow been playing in for over a decade now.
Felicity’s face flickers through my mind, with her sharp eyeliner and sharper tongue. Liam and I were sucked in because, when she put her mind to it, could command a crowd with one flick of her wrist. God, I was so naïve. She burned bright and burned me and Stevie to ashes.
Then came Arleigh. Polished. Precise. A professional to her core. She showed up on time, sang her parts, got along with everyone. No drama, but no fire either. We had a good run but ultimately, couldn’t manufacture enough chemistry to take things to the next level.
And Koko. God, Koko has everything we thought we wanted. Seasoned, confident, capable of playing any room. A tiny dynamo who combined the best elements of Felicity and Arleigh in one package. In retrospect, she was never truly ours. She always had her own solo aspirations. Fireball was one stop on the way.
I push harder on the roller before the paint pools too thick at the edges.
Sometimes it’s frustrating to be in the position we’re in. Over the years, Liam and I have developed an incredibly strong work ethic. We’re good songwriters and excellent musicians. I suppose we can chalk up our twin chemistry to the fact we’ve had a middling level of success. A few hit songs. A movie soundtrack here and there.
Of course, LTZ bringing us on their stadium tours as openers introduced us to a mainstream audience. On the other hand, it highlighted the glaring difference between our bands.
With LTZ, it’s like witnessing magic every single time they’re on stage. It’s not merely talent propelling them success, it’s something deeper. Authenticity. They’re riddled with their own problems but they trust each other. Push each other to achieve excellence. They’re aligned and committed to the same path.
They’re so famous each of them has private security detail. A slew of PR representatives. A big New York management firm. Everything they do is in the public eye.
I don’t envy Connor or his bandmates in that respect.
