Page 22 of Boots, Bucket Lists & Bad Ideas
I slowly raise my head. “Wow. This is something.”
“And now that she’s armed and educated”—Josie taps a beat on the table—“let the hunt for the hidden dicks begin! And I may or may not have hid some around the pool table on Bucky’s side near those hot bikers.”
4: THE GREAT WILDE HOGTIE HEIST
HART
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I HAD EXACTLY one minute of peace between slipping out of the town hall meeting and stepping off the front steps of town hall.
My plan was simple: go home, kick off my boots, microwave something regretful, and avoid everyone until morning.
This has been my limit of people for the month—hell, year.
Then the rope comes flying.
“What the fuck?”
It loops around my chest with the precision practiced on actual livestock. In one smooth jerk, I’m spun backward, hat flying, and balance gone.
Three sets of cowboy boots thud across the dusty sidewalk, whooping like damn fools.
“We got us a runner.”
“Tie him up, boys. He’s resisting the call of beer.”
“Look at him, acting like he ain’t thirsty.”
Three of my brothers, full-time ranchers and part-time idiots, grin like coyotes.
“Really?” I mutter, already trying to shake the rope off. “Not now, guys.”
“Famous Hart words.Not now.” Dean does a horrendous impression of me, like he’s choking on a potato.
I’d like to choke him with a potato. He’s obnoxious and uncontrolled ninety percent of the time. And about that same percentage, I tend to stay the hell away from him.
“Untie me.” I make eye contact with Wheeler.
I expect better from him. He’s a dad. He’s a husband. He’s the sanest out of all my brothers.
“Agree to get a drink with us.” He tilts his white Stetson, offering me a silent acknowledgment.
“No.”
“I told you he’d make this hard for himself.” Dean runs his hands together like he’s ready to play dirty.
I’ll knock him out cold.
“C’mon.” Then there’s Levi.
Just his voice these days grinds straight into my gut.
“One drink,” he pleads.
It’s pathetic.
“Y’all not understand the meaning of no?” I shift to loosen the rope, but Dean pulls tighter.
