Page 131 of Already At Risk
So I just said, “I wish, too.”
Fingers crossed we were wishing for the same damn things.
The room was still after that. Natalie sank further into my embrace, a gradual, quiet trust fall. Her breathing evened out, and I thought she’d fallen asleep, but then she spoke, almost startling me.
“Hey, Cameron?”
I glanced down at her. She hadn’t opened her eyes, still had her face nestled, her breath fanning my skin in both a delicious and comforting way.
“Natalie?”
“You’re a really,reallygood man.” She sighed, her voice reducing to a barely there murmur. “And for what it’s worth, I think your dad would be so very proud of who you are.”
My breath caught in my throat. I closed my eyes, tipping my head back against the headboard of Natalie’s bed.
“You know, he died in a car accident,” I admitted, voice raw. I didn’t love talking about the specifics, but I wanted her to know this. “And…I’ve never once blamed the doctors who did everything they could to save him. Because it was never going to be possible, not with how my dad swerved the car, so he got the brunt of the impact instead of his wife. And, more importantly, because they were the same team who did everything they could to save my mom. And I still have her because of them.”
I felt Natalie lift her head to look at me.
“Cameron.” She choked on my name, and I opened my eyes, finding her watery ones looking back at me.
“You are amazing, Natalie,” I insisted. “And while I might not know what happened tonight, I need you to know that I owe the world to surgeons like you. The entire goddamn world. Okay?”
She swallowed hard and then nodded.
My entire goddamn world.
Fuck.
“Come here,” I said gruffly, and Natalie dropped back to her place in my arms.
“I’msosorry,” she whispered, and I shook my head. She didn’t need to apologize for anything.
“Just let me hold you,” I said, knowing it sounded like I was begging. Pleading for more pieces of her than maybe she was ready to give. “You go to sleep and just let me hold you.”
“I…” Her hesitant voice made my chest hurt. “I don’t know if I want to. I think I’d rather stay with you, stay awake for you.”
Oh, my sweet girl.
I wanted her to stay with me, too. But maybe another night.
“You need to sleep,” I insisted, knowing she needed it. “Sleep, Sunshine.”
And then she did.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
natalie
IWOKE THE NEXT morning alone. It was something that I was used to, of course. I woke up alone during my marriage to Korey. I woke up alone after the divorce. I’d been waking up alone for years.
But this morning, Iachedwith loneliness for the first time in a long time.
I didn’t mind being a single mom. There were many parts of it that I loved—the freedom, the bond between Chloe and me, just two girls against the world.
So I knew I didn’t wake up feeling lonely for any other reason than that Cameron wasn’t here with me.
I’d fallen asleep in his arms, and I woke to an empty bed. And after all the tenderness, care, attention he’d given me last night, finding myself here without it was suddenly gutting me.
