Page 130 of Already At Risk
“Only with men.”
Natalie lifted her lids, finding me, and maybe I wasseeing things I wanted to be there, but Natalie looked at me almostpossessively, as though she liked that she’d be the first woman I’d experience that with.
God, she had no fucking clue, did she? How it felt for me when we were together? She stood alone in every experience. Every single one. No one felt like she did. No one was her.
Suddenly, I had to tell her.
“Natalie…I hope you know that everything we do feels new. Everything we do feels like my first time. With anyone.”
I took a step away after that because, based on the marveling way Natalie stared at me, I’d said too much.
Walking to the bathroom, I disposed of the condom and took a few steadying breaths. When I returned, I found Natalie curled up beneath the comforter, snuggled into the bed. To my immense relief, she wore a contented smile, and she even crooked a finger, which was all it took to convince me to slip beneath the covers with her.
I lay on my back, throwing an arm out, and Natalie snuck beneath it, exactly how I’d been hoping she would. Tucking her into my side, I dropped a kiss on her forehead, and Natalie exhaled, a rush of emotions leaving her body.
“Thank you.” She nuzzled further into my neck, whispers of gratitude on repeat. “Everything feels new to me, too. I’m guessing you already knew that, but still…thank you, Cameron. Not just for tonight, but for all of it.”
Fuck, I wished she’d stop thanking me like it was a favor. Like I didn’t spend every waking moment thinking about her—the things we’d done together, what we’d do next.
“Natalie…” I blew a breath out between my teeth, similar to her. “You are unreal. All of it is unreal.”
She burrowed deeper into my side. I let her, drawing her close beneath the blankets and brushing a hand over damp hair that would probably be tangled and messy tomorrow. Natalie didn’t seem to care, and I sure as hell didn’t, either. I loved this side ofher, the stripped-down one. Mostly because I suspected not many, if anyone, got to see it.
But I did.
And I’d never take that for fucking granted.
“When do you have to go back to the hospital?” I asked.
Another heavy exhale. “In the morning.”
I nodded, half expecting that answer.
“I just came home to shower and get a few hours of sleep before going back,” she added. “I texted Gemma to see if there was any way that Chloe could hang out with her in the morning. She does have skating in the afternoon anyway.”
“Or she could come to the office with me,” I offered with a shrug, without even really thinking about it. “And then I could take her to skating.”
Natalie twisted her head, looking at me with wide eyes. “Cameron?—”
“Ask Chloe in the morning what she’d rather do. If she wants to come with me, she absolutely can. Text me, and I’ll swing by before work to get her.”
When Natalie just blinked at me in response, I spread my fingers into her hair, gently massaging her scalp like I had in the shower, encouraging her to put her head back down. Seeming too exhausted to fight it, Natalie snuggled back into my side.
“I’ll wait until you fall asleep, and then I’ll sneak out, okay?”
She wrapped herself around me tighter. And then the smallest confession: “I don’t want you to. I don’t want you to go.”
Fuck me.
“I don’t want to, either,” I promised. I really,reallydidn’t want to leave. “But you know I have to, Sunshine.” I paused, debating whether I should say what was on the tip of my tongue. But responsibility won over, and I admitted, “Chloe…she suspects. She knows I’m obsessed with you. I’m not good enough at hiding it.”
“I know. I’m not, either.” Natalie’s gaze flicked to mine, still expansive andsearching. “I wish…”
The end of the sentence hung in the air, lingering.
Finish the sentence, baby. What do you wish?
She didn’t say anything else, though.
