Page 98 of Can't Get Over You
“Right about now, it’d be really hitting me.”
“What would?” he asked.
“All the stuff we were working toward—the wedding, buying the house—is over, so it’d just be us. Alone. And, at this point, we’d realize we don’t have anything to talk about. We probably wouldn’t be having…” She glanced behind her to make sure Cody couldn’t hear them over the roar of the engine. With the red blanket clutched to his chest, his cheeks pink from the heat in the car, he watched out the window. “Sex because we’re so exhausted from all the planning, and I wouldn’t care. I didn’t need it from him.”
“Ever?”
“Not really. I figured that was normal after being with the same person for two years. But what really hit me while I was texting my parents is that my marriage would be a continuation of the loneliness I grew up with. And it’d be so familiar, I wouldn’t have even noticed.” She looked down at her hands. “Until you came along and showed me what I’ve been missing.”
Happiness flared, filling his heart and rushing into his veins. “I need you to be very specific right now.”
“Oh, come on. You know?—”
“No, I don’t.”
“I just… I think about you constantly. I want my hands on you all the time. When something pops into my mind, you’re the one I want to share it with. For thirty years, I only took up one tiny corner of my life, and you’ve just opened all these rooms I didn’t know existed.” She let out a laugh. “Don’t let this go to your head.”
“It’s going straight to my cock. But go on.”
“Mister?” Cody called.
“I take that back,” he muttered. “Stop talking.” He eyed the boy in the rearview mirror. “Yeah?”
“When are we getting a tree?”
“You see that sign up ahead?” Jude pointed.
Cody peered between the seats. When he saw it, he nodded.
“That’s the farm. We’re here.”
Cody’s legs kicked out in anticipation, and he balled his blanket in his lap. “I want to get a really big one.”
Finlay turned to him. “Should we put white lights on it or colored ones?”
“Colored ones. I want red, green, and blue lights.”
“You got it.” She took in the woods around her. “Is this whole area the tree farm?”
“I don’t know much about it.” He’d just been a kid tromping through the snow with his family, arguing over which tree was better and taking turns with the saw. “When was the last time you were here?”
“Fifth grade, with Leia. That was my canon event.” She laughed as if it were a joke. “We’d been friends for years, of course, but that trip crystallized my idea of a family. Like, she and her brother were fighting in the back seat, her parents were talking quietly up front—in a way you just knew they liked each other.Thatwasn’t something I was used to. We all got cups of hot apple cider, her dad carried the saw, and we sang along to the piped-in Christmas carols on the wagon ride. The whole experience was right out of a movie.”
“Well, here you are, living it yourself.” Nearing the turn, he slowed.
“Except it’s not real. This is a fake engagement, and I’m just the nanny.” She reached for his arm. “I don’t mean it like that, so you don’t need to say anything. I promise I’m not feeling sorry for myself. I’m just saying I’mnotliving it. And that’s okay because, thanks to my marriage blowing up, I’m learning the difference between reality and fantasy. And throwing out the map, living life on the fly? It’s not so bad. In fact, it’s kind of exciting.”
They passed under an arched ranch sign strung with twinkling lights. The trees lining the road held giant ornaments,their limbs sagging under the weight. The parking area wasn’t too crowded, which wasn’t a surprise since Christmas was only a few days away. Pulling into a spot, he cut the engine and leaned across the console to kiss her on the mouth, relieved she wasn’t hung up on her ex and glad she’d thrown out the vision board.
Since I’m not on it.
She unbuckled her seat belt. “But that’s probably because I get to sleep naked with you, eat pancakes with hilarious and uncouth men, and make Christmas magic for a little boy who needs a home.”
As soon as Cody got out of his booster seat, Jude helped him out of the car. The three of them held hands—the boy in the middle—and headed for the big white tent. When Cody saw the penned reindeer, he broke away from them and bolted. They quickly caught up with him as he watched other kids feeding the animals.
“Can I do that, too?” the boy asked.
“Yeah, of course.” Jude grabbed a cup of something called magic moss. “But it says you have to clean your hands first.” He lifted the boy to the dispenser and helped him rub the sanitizer all over. “There you go.” He offered him the little paper cup.
