Page 43 of Playing With Fire
Hudson
A mix of things. Is now an okay time to call?
I call him instead of answering the text.
“Hi,” he breathes into the phone, his voice already so achingly familiar.
“Hi,” I reply, my smile instantly returning at the sound of his voice, remembering the feel of his hard body beneath mine. The way his tongue teased and caressed mine without being too much. How his hands worked in tandem with his mouth and his hips pushed up into me.
“Do you have plans tonight?” he asks, catching me off guard. I was sort of prepared for a breakup speech.
“Same as always,” I reply. “Dinner alone and then Serafina’s bedtime routine. Once she’s down, maybe I’ll pour a glass of wine and make some bad decisions,” I tease, as Serafina coos loudly, clapping her little hands as a school of fish pass by the glass.
“Make them now,” Hudson says in a low voice that is completely serious. “Come to my place for dinner. Bring Serafina. I have a Pack ‘n Play still here from my niece and nephew. You don’t have to bring anything but her diaper bag.” His offer takes me by surprise and it takes me a minute to answer him. “I hear you overthinking things, Shannon. Come to dinner. I promise I’ll keep my hands to myself.”
Finally, a laugh chokes its way out of me. “I can’t tell…are you trying to convince me to come over or convince me to say no?”
I hear his voice change with his smile. “In that case, I’ll put them everywhere you’ll let me. Just come. I’ll take care of dinner.”
“Okay.” It comes out as a nervous whisper, which of course, Hudson catches.
“There’s no pressure here, Shannon. I want you in my house tonight. I want to talk to you and learn more about you. I have no idea what I’m doing, but I can’t seem to stop, and the harder I try, the worse it becomes. If you aren’t comfortable with any of this, just tell me and I’ll find the strength to end it. I need you towantto be there because I can’t stomach the thought of putting you in another relationship you don’t want to be in.”
I take a second to process his words, and my mind perseverates on the fact that he reads me so well and picks up on things evenIstruggle to name. Things even my husband can’t see despite living in the same house as me and talking to me every day.
There’s some hidden force at work here that I can’t explain.
Chance?
Destiny?
Desperation?
Whatever it is, it has me jumping in with both feet.
“I’ll be there,” I confirm before amending my statement. “Iwanttobe there. Just send me your address.”
My heart is beating dangerously fast by the time we get off the phone and Serafina and I head back to the car half an hour later, my mind still spinning.
We’re almost to the parking lot when I pass an older woman coming into the aquarium as I’m exiting.
“Shannon Hartley? Is that you?”
I don’t immediately recognize the woman, but I give her a small smile. “It’s me.”
She must see the uncertainty on my face because she offers an introduction. “I’m Renee Billings, Simon’s wife.”Ahh, the reason I needed the firepit, which brought Hudsonback to me and allowed for that scorching kiss.Heat rises in my cheeks.
“Oh, yes, of course!” My answer is too excited, but she’s kind enough to let it pass without comment. “How lovely to see you again.” I can’t explain why, but I clutch Serafina to me a little tighter. I’m not fearful that this woman is going to run off with my daughter, but I think I’m actually deriving strength from my infant. And using both arms to hold her is a good excuse for not reaching out to shake this woman’s hand.
Renee is in her mid-fifties, well put-together, and she reminds me oh-so-much of the woman my husband wishes me to be: huge diamond on her ring finger with a matching set in her ears, perfectly coiffed hair and pressed linen pantsuit. Before I can question the chosen fancy attire, she gives me an answer.
“I’m just heading out myself. I’m on the board of directors here. I’ve always loved the ocean and its inhabitants,” she muses, ushering me onward toward the exit.
I’m unsure of what to say. I hadn’t expected to have anything in common with this woman. “Yes, me too,” I finally mutter. “I grew up on the coast and miss it every day.”
Her eyes light up at this information and she claps her hands together. “Would you be interested in volunteering here sometime? We have a lovely group of people, and all our volunteers get free entry with their families.” She cocks a wry smile. “Not that you or I need it, but it’s a nicer visit if it’s free.” My stomach churns when she places she and I in the same category. “You must be proud of Gregor, up for partner so soon,” she gushes as I silently pray for this interaction to end.
“I am proud of him, yes.” At least it’s not a lie. “He’s worked extremely hard.” And because I’m getting less skilled at biting my tongue, I add, “and he’s sacrificed a lot of time withus.”
