Page 44 of Playing With Fire
Renee purses her pouty, filler-injected lips. “Don’t they all, honey? That’s a man for you.”Not all men.I think about the way Hudson talked about his sister and her kids. The things he does for them and the ways he puts them first. Her laugh ignites a flame of discomfort deep in my belly. “But as long as Simon keeps paying the mortgage on the condo in Cabo, I don’t really mind.”
When I have no response for that appalling comment, she fills the uncomfortable silence.
“Well, I’ll let you girls get on with your day. Think about my offer to volunteer with us! You can let me know at the fall retreat.”
“The what?” I ask, switching Serafina to my other hip as my brows pull together in confusion.
“Oh dear, I hope Gregor wasn’t planning on making it a surprise. The company is hosting a fall getaway in the Outer Banks just before Thanksgiving. Hard to believe that’s only three weeks from now, isn’t it? It’s kind of a meeting of the minds, if you will. Regroup before the big trial, get everyone’s ducks in a row, that kind of thing. Should be perfect for you since you love the beach so much!”
Two thoughts simultaneously fill my mind.
On one hand, I amelatedto have a trip to the coast in my future…on the other hand, it won’t be the revitalizing trip I need. Instead, I’ll be spending my days with Renee and the other wives, listening to them discuss things like how their housekeeper was tardy for the third day in a row, the private school their kids attend is raising tuitionagain,and *gasp*,the Mercedes dealer only had a vehicle in their A-class to give as a loaner when Pamela turned her G-wagon in for scheduled maintenance.
And then another thought hits me.I start my new job soon. I can’t ask for time off before I even start.
Decidingit’s not in the cards for me to get to the coast just yet, I try to politely decline.
“Oh, it sounds lovely, but unfortunately, I don’t think Serafina and I will be able to make it. I’m actually going back to work in the next couple of weeks and I can’t take off so soon after being hired.”
“Oh dear.” Renee sighs, looking crestfallen. “Well, Gregor reserved a room and RSVP’d for you both, so do let us know as soon as possible. Perhaps you could join us for the weekend? I’m heading up the retreat this year with Simon being so busy. It’s really a lovely time. The men discuss work, and the wives sip champagne in the spa.” Her eyes sparkle as she describes my perfect day from hell.
What was once expected of me now angers me. The life I once chose now seems suffocating. The agreeable, good wife has turned bitter and resentful over being taken advantage of. The man I believed would honor and cherish me has cast me aside in favor of his work colleagues, his clients, and his lifestyle. Calling on me only when hisfamily manpersona is needed in order to fit in.
I fully acknowledge that I’m in the wrong with Hudson and perhaps my desire to see him, touch him, connect with him, makes me far worse than my husband who abandoned me in a different way. But in this moment, I couldn’t care less.
Renee and I part ways on platitudes and promises that I’ll think about both the retreat and volunteering at the aquarium. Renee doesn’t mention coming over for drinks and I don’t bring it up.
After the aquarium, I grab a shower, and give Greg a call when I get out.
He doesn’t answer.
I put on light makeup, for once not feeling like it’s an obligation and just wanting to look like a fairly put-together version of myself, and pick a matching bra and panty set. I choose to leave the lacey, silky, enticing pieces out of the equation for now, and slip into jeans and my favorite lightweight sweater.
I pull my hair back into a stylish messy bun, cute in the way it looks effortless and functional because I can’t stand when my hair is in my eyes. As I’m assessing the final image of comfortable, casual, confident Shannon, my phone rings and a lump forms in my stomach until I see it’s just my mom.
“Hey, Mom.”
“Hi, honey. I just remembered you told me Gregor is out of town tonight. Do you want to come over for dinner and that drink and let me snuggle my granddaughter?”
“Oh, uh, I’m actually having dinner with a friend tonight.”
“Tell me you didn’t hire a babysitter without even asking me!” my mom cries indignantly, making me laugh.
“No, mom. She’s coming with me.”
“Is it a play date?”
Not for her,I think to myself.
“Not really. There won’t be any other kids there.”
“Are you meeting…you know what? Never mind. You’ll tell me what you want me to know.”
I sigh, needing to get it off my chest anyway. “Actually, yes. I am meeting a man. His name is Hudson. But it’s just to try and figure out what we’re doing and what comes next.”
“Well, it sounds like a boring night for my granddaughter! Drop her off to Nanny on your way. Your father’s at the Moose Lodge until nine, so Serafina and I can have a girls’night.”
My heart skips a beat. I don’t have a good reason to tell her no.
