Page 31 of From the Ashes
My eyes slam into Jonas’s as I take a step closer to my coach who is quickly climbing to number one on my shit list.
“Let me make this very clear. You and I are supposed to be a team. You don’t get to push me around like this. It’s because of you that we’re here in the first place, but now that we are, I’ll stay as long as I damn well please. I’ll alsothinkabout who I damn well please, and I’lltalkto who I damn well please. You got that?”
“Your obsession with him is going to get you killed,” Jonas says, angrily waving his hands as he paces back and forth.
My obsession with him is the only thing that’s kept me alive,I argue in my head. Out loud, my argument is much simpler. “That would make your job a lot easier then, wouldn’t it?”
Jonas finally looks remorseful. “Shit, Walker.I’m sorry. I just need you to focus on those eight seconds. Focus on the bronc beneath you.Anticipate, don’t react. Toes out, hand up, stay relaxed. Fluid, like water.”
Jonas drones on, telling me the same things he tells me before every ride. If only he knew how pointless it all is. When I’m on that bronc, it’s not his words that play in my head, but images of Phoenix rolling his hips into me the night we were together, like he could withstand any buck, any wave, anythingthat tried to knock him off balance, and honestly, that visualization was a game changer for me.
I blow out a breath, and just like every time I ride, I try blocking everything out around me. The crowds, the announcer, what’s going on in the ring…and across from it. I’m greeted at the shoot by the same guys who worked here last night as I climb up and into the cage with the horse.
Wrapping my hand under the rope, I get a good hold, dig my heels in the animal’s sides, and nod for them to let her loose.
This horse takes off straight for the other side of the arena, bucking high and fast the whole way. Three seconds in, I’m bouncing around pretty good, but it’s nothing I can't handle. This bronc almost has a stutter-step. Like she trips before she bucks. I’ve never felt a rhythm like this and my body is too slow to adjust. When her step falters, her head dips low and my center of gravity is too high, pitching me forward.
This is exactly where I don’t want to be because when she jerks upright, my body will follow, and my spine will catch the brunt of the impact as my tailbone crashes with her solid, unforgiving back when she kicks her legs out.
I brace for the dangerous collision, not knowing what else to do, when above the crowd, I hear a voice I’d recognize even if I was in a coma.
“BAIL, WALKER! BAIL!”
The sheer panic in Phoenix’s voice causes me to let go ofthe rope and try to let my body go slack as I’m catapulted from the bronc’s back. We practice how to fall, but honestly, we don’t get much say in the matter. I try like hell to get my feet under me, but I land on my right wrist and side instead.
My wrist gives way beneath me as a sharp pain lances up my arm.
Around me, the pickup men corral the horse back into the shoot and before this can get any more embarrassing, I pick myself up out of the dirt, limping to the ring’s exit, cradling my arm.
Chapter 16
Phoenix
Ilost two hundred and fifty bucks in poker to my asshole friends last night. I must have a tell because I don’t remember ever beingthat bad, even if my head was all fucked up from earlier. I’m still salty from the loss, but it’s gotnothingon the anger coursing through me after watching Walker hit the dirt.
If last night messed with him like it did with me, then I’m angry at myself for even engaging, and I’m pissed at him for getting on that fucking horse.I should’ve known better.To make matters worse, my anger is intensified by my fear, and I’m a big fucking mess as I hop the rail and sprint across the ring to get to Walker as he exits, no doubt headed to seek medical attention.
As he fell, it felt like the whole scene was in slow motion. Like I was watching my own career come to a screeching end. I don’t want that for him. No matter how pissed I am.
I round the corner and find his incompetent behemoth of a coach standing next to him, and completely lose my cool.
“Jonas! What thefuckwas that?” I yell, causing him andWalker, both, to stop and turn around. Once they’re facing me, I continue. “You let him continue to ride like that and you’re going to get him killed!” My voice is bouncing off the cinderblock walls down here, really causing an echo.
Jonas’s eyes go wide and his face turns red. “Me? I’m not the reason his wrist is broken! What kind of negligent asshole tells a rider to bail halfway through?”
Two strides later and I’m in his face, my fists clenching at my sides so I don’t do something stupid like punch him in the mouth. “The kind who’s smart enough to realize that it would’ve been his spine if he’d tried to land that last buck. Everyone knows Pocahontas is wicked smart. She feels her riders better than they feel her. If you’d cared to look into these horses at all like I told you to, you might’ve known that. She got Walker off balance on purpose, and as soon as his ass left her back, it was over. If he’d stayed on, his only options were to smash his face on the back of her head, or sustain multiple stress fractures in his spine.”
Jonas doesn’t know how to respond because his coaching is one-dimensional. He’s arrogant enough to think the rider controls the whole interaction, when in reality, we control none of it.
“If you’re done,” Jonas starts, “I’d like to getmyrider to the medical team.”
The way he emphasizesmymakes my skin crawl. I only keep my mouth shut because one look at Walker’s face and I know he’s in pain. He’s trying to be stoic about it, but it’s in the pinch of his brow and the set of his jaw.
I nod my head down the hallway telling them to go. My eyes stay glued to the back of Walker’s head the entire time and when he looks back over his shoulder to find my eyes, something cracks in my chest.
Full of bad decisions today—case in point, I’m here in thefirst place—I decide to wait just outside the arena to try and catch Walker on his way back to his camper. It’s only four in the afternoon, but he clearly won’t be finishing this competition.
His visit with medical takes an hour, during which time I field several texts from Cassie and the guys wanting to know where I am before Walker and his fucking guard dog come out the back door. The sun’s still got plenty of firepower and a drop of sweat rolls down the back of my neck as I step out from the side of the building and put myself in their path.
