Page 30 of From the Ashes
I don’twantdistance between Phoenix and I. In fact, I want to be so close to him we can’t tell where one body ends and the other begins.
That’sthe real problem.
Needing a distraction, I pull my phone out and open social media. I’m always interested to see what the PR teams are spouting, what shots get captured from the riders during theevents, and it’s always a good time seeing what crazy fans have to say when they pop into my DMs.
A message at the top of my screen catches my attention and I stop breathing as I stare at the username: @Alexis_TRU.
Alexis Truman.
My high school girlfriend. The nicest girl I’ve ever met. And one I royally fucked over.
Bile rises in my throat.
What could she possibly have to say to me after all these years?Curiosity is surging through me, but I can’t handle another distraction. Jackson is right on my heels on the leaderboard, and if I make one wrong move, I know he’ll capitalize on it.
The temptation to open Alexis’s message is strong, so I force myself to put my phone in my room without opening it, grab my show hat, and head inside the arena to watch the events taking place before mine.
Since Phoenix was here last night—and that went oh-so-swimmingly—I don’t expect him to be back tonight, and that sours my mood even further. Obviously, I wasn’t going to miss the opportunity to kiss him back when his tongue found its way into my mouth, but I also should have considered using that time to apologize for the suffering he’s endured because of me. I know our night together distracted him from his ride the next day…even if I don’t fully understand what it was that got in his head so badly that he never stood a chance in that ring.
I’m waiting in the lower level close to the shoots with the other riders who have already competed or have yet to go. With one boot propped up on the rung of the gate and my upper body leaning on my forearms, I feel a slap on my back.
I turn in time to see the ugly face of Jackson White.
“Good luck out there, DeVille. Just know, I’m coming for you,” he says with a smirk.
“Aw shucks, do you comejustforme, or for every guy that kicks your ass?” I ask, turning my attention back to the ring unamused, knowing he’s still listening.
“Don’t be a fucking asshole,” he snaps. “I meant I’m going to win this competition and you know it.”
I give him a wicked grin. “Hard to win from second place.” And then because I can’t help myself, I add, “Then again, maybe you prefer to come from behind.”
We’ve drawn the attention of those around us, so just to rub it in a little further, I wink at him and blow a kiss his way. It’s just shit-talking. At this point, I’m well aware that I’m gay, but it’s not likebeing gayconsumes every thought I have. Just like hetero guys can joke about sex without constantly thinkingI’m heterosexual, I like girls,gay guys can talk shit too without it being a serious come-on for dick. Because let’s be honest, I’d rather get fucked by a cactus than let Jackson White anywhere near my pretty hole.
Before the situation escalates further, Jonas is at my side, gripping my elbow, pulling me away from the gate and the confrontation.
“What do you think you’re doing?” he barks, pulling me down one of the deserted back hallways.
“What are you talking about? I’m just fucking with Jackson like always.” Truth be told, our rivalry has become kind of fun.
Jonas drops my elbow. “Yeah, well, considering your recent confessions about Phoenix, maybe you want to back off on the gay banter a little bit?”
“It’s the same shit we always talk, Jonas. It would be weirder if I stopped making those cracks at him. Besides, what do you care?”
He looks pensive for a second, like he’s not sure he wants to say the next part.
“Out with it,” I demand.
“I ran into Phoenix on the other side. He’s here and he’s down below with the riders so he’s getting a lot of attention. I debated whether or not to tell you, but ultimately figured it wouldn’t help you any to find him surrounded by all his fans right as you climb in the shoot.”
He’s here? Again?
I ride in twenty minutes. No fucking way I can get my heart rate under control by then. Let alone my thoughts.
What does this mean?He kissed me. And now he’s back. Before I can catch the dangerous thought, it takes hold…maybe I’ll get the chance to apologize after all.I’m swarming with jealousy over the hoard of rodeo participants getting to talk to him, stand next to him, clap him on the back, shake his hand, and take selfies right now.
Hell, he and I don’t even have a picture together and he’s beeninsideme.
Jonas snaps his fingers in my face. “Godfuckingdammit, Walker. Pull your head out of his ass long enough to get through this ride before I pull you from this competition.”
