Page 23 of From the Ashes
“Jonas, I don’toweyou anything. What happened between Phoenix and I is none of your business. Whatever I was once willing to share is no longer on the table.”
He stares at me a beat too long before he nods. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I just didn’t like the way he insinuated that I didn’t have your best interests at heart. Go grab a shower and then come eat.”
Tension between a rider and his coach is never good. Especially when we’re on the road and have to live together for the rest of the season in such close quarters. It’s also dangerous because if I’m pissed at Jonas, it adds another element of distraction while I’m riding.
The hot water tank is small, so showers have to be quick, but at least I can stand up all the way and the shower works wonders to clear my head…as much as it can be cleared at the moment.
I allow myself a solitary minute—sixty whole seconds—toexhale and feel the water beat down on my shoulders as I picture Phoenix’s face. My cock throbs and I ache to put my hand to it, but there’s no time. Food is waiting, my water is already losing its heat, and Phoenix’s words play on repeat:Don’t think you being here changes anything.
But…of course it does.
I shampoo my hair and wash my body before I lose the last of the warm water and towel off. The bathroom is connected to my bedroom and at night, we turn the kitchen table into a queen-sized bed for Jonas. I drop my towel and slip on athletic shorts and a white tank top. It’s hot and humid as fuck.
Taking a seat at the table, Jonas arches a brow at me.
“What?” I ask, not trying to conceal the annoyance in my tone at all.
“You won the championship title the year Phoenix was injured,” Jonas states.
“So? It’s not like that’s a secret.” My answers are getting snippier the more he talks. Jonas wasn’t my coach back then, but he’s well acquainted with my record.
“That’s when you two met,” he says like he’s some detective that just solved a murder.
I’m not ready to talk about this, but I inadvertently confirm when I look away. “What’s your point?”
“Phoenix was your idol. I’m just trying to figure out what happened to make you so anxious around him. I mean hell, you ha?—"
"I’m starstruck, I guess,” I interrupt him, trying to get him off the scent. “Can we just eat?”
“Walker, youarethe star. You don’t get starstruck.”
“Let it go, Jonas,” I growl, nostrils flaring. I can tell he’s slowly putting two and two together, and the way I ran after Phoenix today certainly didn’t help.
“Walker, did he…do something…you know, inappropriate? He has a reputation…”
“What?Jesus, Jonas. No!” The thought that anyone might think Phoenix could actuallyhurtsomeone, has me so angry it makes me nauseated. I can’t let Jonas think that. My God, if he were to run his stupid fucking mouth because he’s pissed about Phoenix besting him this afternoon…I can’t bear it.
Instead, I out myself without thinking twice. “It wasme, Jonas.I had a crush on him. I told him, and he shut me down. It’s awkward, but he’s never been anything but kind to me.”
Jonas’s eyes widen in shock. “What do you mean you had acrush on him?”
Scrubbing a hand down my face, suddenly wishing I had more than this tank top covering my exposed skin, I respond in frustration. “What do you think I mean? I’m attracted to him. He’s the rider I wish I was. I admire him. I think he’s hot. I want?—”
“Okay.” Jonas holds up his hands. “Okay, I get it.” He eyes me quizzically. “Just to clarify, youhada crush on him, like you grew out of it? Or youhavea crush on him?”
I stare back at him with a flat affect. I want to sayyou don’t grow out of being gay,but not yet ready to put it on the literal table like that, I guard my answer.
“It doesn’t matter. I came here to win a rodeo and that’s what I plan to do. We’ll be back on the road soon enough and we can put this behind us.”
Well, Jonas can put it all behind him. No matter where I travel, my memories of Phoenix will always be with me.
Chapter 12
Phoenix
Nothing I do will make tonight any easier. Despite the run-ins I’ve had with Walker, I’m a nervous fucking wreck because yeah, I watch his rides…but I never watch themlive.I’ve always made sure there were no major injuries before scouring the internet for footage of his events. Despite the history between us, I can’t stomach the thought of him getting injured.
Tonight, however, I have no choice but to keep my eyes glued to him and his bronc, praying it’s one of mine. He can handle all of my horses with ease.
