Page 24 of From the Ashes
It’s still blazing hot, but thankfully the rodeo is inside and the air conditioner in the arena stays cranked. I tug a pair of Wrangler’s on and slip into my boots, and just to indulge myself alittle,I wear my championship belt buckle. I’ve long since given up button downs in favor of plain white t-shirts, and I shake my head thinking about the shit Jake gives me for it.You look like the love child of the hot Hemsworth brother and Glen Powell.
I can admit I’m blessed genetically, but I still work damn hard for the shape I’m in.
When I can’t stall any longer, I grab my keys and hop in my truck.
The guys and I all live in different parts of town, so we agreed to meet at the arena because there’s no easy way to carpool. Jake and Dylan will bring Cassie with them. Hudson and Shannon have the longest drive, and although Knoxcouldride with me, he prefers to drive himself. My truck may be bigger, but his is way nicer.
As one of the stock contractors, I have a pass to be able to park in the back by the stables. It’s nice because after the rodeo, I’ll get to avoid the traffic.
Pulling into the gravel lot, rocks crunching under the tires of my dually, I give up the fight to not look for Walker pretty early on. I convince myself that a glimpse from afar couldn’t hurt, but I search in vain, not finding him.
“There you are!” Cassie exclaims as I walk toward my group of friends gathered by the entrance. “Good! Now we can go in!” She grabs ahold of my arm this time instead of Shannon’s as we get our tickets scanned, and starts peppering me with questions.What’s the order of events? Are the animals actually ever hurt? How does the scoring work?And the last one’s the kicker.
“Who’s the best cowboy here?” she asks while we stand in line, waiting to order our artery-clogging brisket baskets.
“Me, obviously,” I answer with a grin.
This earns me a semi-serious answer despite my teasing tone. “I know you are. And if you were competing tonight, I have no doubt you’d win. But I meant who’s the one we should watch tonight?”
Suddenly, my absence from this sport feels like a tangible thing. I know she didn’t say I’m irrelevant, but that’s sure as shithow it feels. The men and women who compete here tonight are celebrities among this crowd, and although people recognize my face, it stings knowing this isn’t my world anymore.
Before I answer Cassie, Shannon nudges her shoulder. “Look, Hud just bought this program for me. It has all the riders in it.”
“Oh, let’s find the hottest ones!” Cassie giggles.
Dylan leans down to get a closer look. Chewing on a French fry—because apparently the hot dog line was way shorter than this one—and he points a greasy finger at a cowboy I don’t recognize. “He’s cute,” Dylan says.
Jake and Knox are standing in the front of the group with me since we’re the ones ordering, when Jake mumbles, “Remind me not to bring my husband to a rodeo where the dress code ispainted on,and the activities all involve extreme hip thrusts and tying things up.”
I feel you, buddy.
Jake doesn’t know I’m bisexual. None of the guys do. It was hard as fuck to stay quiet when Jake came out. Mostly, because I didn’t want him to think he was alone or that we wouldn’t understand, but there’s no point in telling the truth since men are no longer an option for me.
I mean, sure, I tried hooking up with a couple guys after that night with Walker, but I could never follow through. Regardless of who I was with, I’d seehim,hearhim,wish it washim.So, I shut that part of my life down, and I was a terrible friend to Jake. Add it to the list of shit I’m still pissed at Walker for.
“Yo, Phoe, you’re up.” Jake’s voice breaks me out of my reverie of self-loathing and serves as a reminder that tonight is supposed to be about Cassie.
I place my order and move to the side right as Shannon says, “Him!” and slaps a finger onto the page. “Hedefinitely wins the hot cowboy award.” The girls break out into a fit of giggles as Cassie pulls the program from Shannon’s hands.
“Let’s see who you’ve picked,” Cassie squeals in delight.
“Him, right there.” Shannon’s finger makes a dull thud as she taps the program a second time.
“Walker DeVille,” Cassie reads out loud. “Hey, Phoe, doesn’t this look like that guy that from the bar?”
I don’t even glance at the program before I answer. “It is the guy from the bar.”
“Oh no way! Do you know him? Can we meet him?” Cassie asks.
Her enthusiasm makes me smile even in the shittiest of moments. “Yes, way. Yes. And no.”
Disappointment only clouds her features for a second before our number is called and we’re busy dispersing baskets of food, grabbing beers, and heading for our seats.
“I read about the best places to sit, and I thought it would be fun to sit right next to the gated area where they pen the bulls and horses. So, we’re right next to that,” Cassie explains.
“The bucking shoot, babydoll. It’s called the bucking shoot,” I correct, giving her the term for the area she’s referring to.
“Yeah, that!” Her smile is so bright and excited that she pulls me out of my funk just enough to be able to take it all in. We walk through the small concrete walkway and step out into the open arena and the breath is stolen from my lungs. Hell, my knees almost buckle. Usually, I drop the animals off and get them situated in the stalls and then get the hell out of Dodge. I haven’t seen a competition ring since the day of my last ride.
