Page 65 of From the Ashes
Phoenix:
It is, but that doesn’t mean I want you going alone.
Walker:
Okay
With that settled, I grab clean clothes and head for the shower.
If I end up staying the whole three months now, it’ll be a miracle. Being in Phoenix’s house, in hislife, was far more bearable when I had hope for a future together, but apparently, I’ve fallen for the only asshole with a stubborn streak wider than mine.
Phoenix isn’t budging on his reasons for why we can’t be together, and although there is ahintof validity to them, I’m confident we could work it out.
But no, he insists on torturing us both.
I make sure I’m extra clean, scrubbing all the nooks and crannies. Nothing like being inspected by your kid for the first time to really add the pressure. As I bathe, I think back over the conversation I had with Alexis last night.
The one where we agreednotto tell Colton that I’m his father just yet. It was a tough decision, but ultimately, the truth is I don’t know if I’ll see him again after this. Phoenix was right…my life is in Texas…what little of it remains, at least. And with things with Phoenix over before they even began, staying in North Carolina doesn’t sound appealing at all.
If that seems selfish, it’s because I am.
But at the end of the day, how fucked up would it be to tell the kid I’m his dad, meet him once, and then dip back out of his life? What kind of complex would that give him? And as much as I hate it, I just can’t commit to staying. I don’t have atraditional lifestyle and Colton certainly doesn’t have a traditional family.
So, we agreed to tell him I’m an old friend of Alexis’s from high school—truth—and I’m up here visiting a friend of mine—mostly true, although “friend” is a bit of a stretch at the moment—and that I ride broncos. Alexis thought the last part would help give Colton and I some common ground since he’s in his rodeo phase and all.
By the time I shut the water off, my gut is churning. I carefully towel off and put my brace back on. I have a follow up at the doctor’s office the week after next for another set of x-rays.
I pull my boxers on easily enough, but I want to wear jeans today and the button is still giving me a challenge. I feel like a slob wearing gym shorts and athletic pants every day, but more than that, I want to look my best for Colton…and Alexis.
I slide the denim up my legs and move on to my dress shirt. I chose the one with the opal buttons from the first night of the rodeo—okay, maybe I’m hamming it up a tiny bit, but I’ll take all the help I can get when it comes to earning cool points with an eight-year-old.
Shockingly, I’m able to manage the buttons on the shirt easily because the fabric gives, but after three attempts, it’s clear the button and zipper on the jeans are a no-go.
Shoving my pride and embarrassment aside, I crack the bathroom door open, listening for any sound down below.
Bingo.
The kitchen sink is running.
I walk downstairs to find Phoenix drenched in sweat, shirtless, andhisgym shorts slung far too low on his hips. They also ride too high on his thighs to be considered decent.
Unsure how to approach this, I crack a joke because acknowledging my hard-on won’t help either of us, especially given the request I came down here to make.
“Yeah, I’m gonna need some kind of signal to stay in my room if you’re going to be walking around in nothing but man-panties. Rejection is one thing, Phoe, but this is borderline torture.”
Phoenix jumps at the sound of my voice.
“Walker,Christ.You scared me.” He grits his teeth and turns back around, moody as ever. “And I didn’trejectyou.”
“Right. We’ll have to agree to disagree on that front, but as much fun as arguing about our lack of a future is, I actually just came down here to ask for a favor.”
Without turning to face me, Phoenix says, “I already told you, I’m taking you.”
“Look, this is hard enough without you being a short-tempered, snappy dick. So, if this is how you plan to be for the rest of the day, can you please just stay here? Your attitude isn’t helping, and I wasn’t going to ask about the fucking ride. I thought we’d already settled that.”
Finally, he turns to face me.
It takes less than a second for me to realize it would have been better if he’d kept his back to me. Sweat runs down his sculpted chest and onto his torso, making his abs glisten. His nipples are hard and a perfect deep shade of pink. Hell, they’re practicallybeggingme to put them in my mouth.
