Page 27 of Bought By the Void Walker
"And failed." His weight on me isn't restraining anymore but comforting. "Just as I failed the others. Two hundred and forty-seven failures. Each one carved into my memory."
"The hairpin?"
"I took it before the Collector could return. Kept it to give to you when I found you. A piece of her to remember." He pulls it from his pocket, not mine, his. "I've carried it for three years."
I clutch the hairpin, feeling its familiar weight. "Why didn't you tell me immediately?"
"Would you have believed me? You came here certain of my guilt. That certainty needed to crack naturally, not be shattered by force."
"So you manipulated me."
"I guided you toward truth." He shifts, and I realize he's still pinning me to the bed, our bodies pressed together intimately. "Just as you tried to manipulate me with that clumsy assassination attempt."
"Clumsy?"
"You could have poisoned me. Used the ceramic blade while I slept. Waited until I was weakened from a tremor." His lips curve slightly. "Instead, you chose the most direct, most honorable approach. Because part of you wanted to fail."
"That's not."
"You're a trained soldier. A professional killer. Yet you announced yourself, moved predictably, used a weapon I could easily counter." His hand cups my face. "You wanted to be stopped."
I want to deny it, but I can’t.
"I hate you," I whisper.
"You hate that you don't hate me," he corrects. "You hate that your body sings when I touch you. That the marks I left bring pleasure not pain. That even now, pinned beneath me after a failed murder attempt, you're aroused."
"That's the bond."
"The bond amplifies. It doesn't create." He leans closer, his breath cold against my lips. "You wanted me before I marked you. The bond just makes you honest about it."
"Fuck you."
"Is that another request?"
The words hang between us. I'm acutely aware of our position, him covering me completely, my legs spread by theshadow tendrils, our bodies aligned perfectly. The marks pulse with heat, and I can feel his arousal pressing against me.
"You just tried to kill me," he points out, though his hips press down slightly.
"You just showed me my sister's death," I counter, arching involuntarily.
"And yet here we are."
"Here we are."
He kisses me then, not rough like against the wall but deep, consuming. The shadow tendrils release my ankles so I can wrap my legs around him. My hands tangle in his dark hair, pulling him closer even as my mind screams that this is insane.
"Did our coupling mean nothing?" he asks against my throat. "Can you still kill me after feeling me inside you? After I marked you as mine?"
The echo of his words from my failed attempt makes me pause. "You expected this."
"I expected you to try something. The assassination attempt was predictable. This," he gestures to our entwined bodies, "is a pleasant surprise."
"I haven't forgiven you."
"I haven't asked for forgiveness."
"I don't trust you."
