Page 8 of Authentically, Izzy
Love,
Izzy
PS: If Brodie the Hobbit isn’t Josie in disguise, I think he must be a writer.
From: Penelope Edgewood
To: Izzy Edgewood
Date: February21
Subject: Sea monsters
Izzy,
Please don’t talk about sea urchins. They always remind me of that creature I saw under the water when we went to the beach when I was six. I know you don’t believe me, but I am sure it was a sea monster yet to be discovered. That’s the real reason why I eat seafood with such ferocity.
Penelope
PS: IsTheLord of the Ringsa musical? I think I would remember it better if it was.
PPS: Maybe meeting a man online or through Josie will turn out better than... previous relationships for you. One of my professors says, “Sometimes we can’t see the cannoli for the cream.” Wait, maybe he was talking about a marketing strategy, but you get the point.
***
Heart-to-Heart
Date: February21
Brodie the Hobbit,
I am so sorry about Gandalf. Did you have him for a long time? If any animal should have the power to resurrect, I think it should be a faithful dog. They’re such wonderful companions and the very best listeners in the world.
I’ve had Samwise for five years and despite having a propensity for pouting on occasion, he’s the finest creature on earth.And much like his namesake, he enjoys digging. Often. And with great zeal.
Training a puppy is definitely an adventure I don't care to repeat for a long time. If Argos is as fast and clever as his mythical namesake, he’ll learn that shoes are meant for wearing and toilet paper, though a fun toy, is meant for human uses. Samwise treated the legs of tables and chairs as teethers and ended up wearing my curtains more times than I care to admit, though, I must say, with his golden fur he looked excellent in pale blue.
Curtains are superfluous though, I suppose. I prefer as much natural light as possible and the view from my front window is worth seeing, once you look beyond the dilapidated furniture shop across the street and the train tracks. Someday, I’ll move just beyond town where the mountains show from every window. They’re blue-tinted mountains here, not lush and green like the Shire, but still lovely in their own way. I think I’d find complete contentment in a world of mountains and seas and fresh air and books... oh, and coffee and tea, of course. Maybe it’s just because of mainstream bookshops nowadays, but I think there’s no smell quite so wonderful as the combination of books and coffee.
Or tea for afternoon and evening.
Izzy
PS: I have great aspirations of hiking to the very top of our largest mountain, but then I realize what sort of energy that entails and reach for a favorite book instead. I know it’s a pitiful substitute, but my legs are never sore afterward, and it’s much easier to drink a cup of tea while sitting.
From: Izzy Edgewood
To: Penelope Edgewood
Date: February21
Subject: Word-vomit shame
Penelope,
I’m an idiot. That is why I don’t have a boyfriend. I just wrote a note to Brodie the Hobbit about dogs and toilet paper and the color blue looking excellent on Samwise. And I admitted that I would choose a book over hiking! Now I’m sure he thinks I’m a bookish simpleton. And probably lazy.
I need to stick to my books. They’re much safer to my self-esteem. If I hear back from him, I’ll know for certain he’s too desperate to be reasonable or too mentally inconsistent to be trusted. Now I just need to figure out how to disable my profile from this blasted Heart-to-Heart, right after I go on this date with Steve the Audiologist.
