Page 61 of Begin Again
“Your brother told me.”
“Kai told you I was coming home?”
Beau nods. “Asked me to keep an eye on you.” He pushes a strand of hair that has fallen out of my braid behind my ear, gently caressing my jaw, and the motion sends a shiver down my spine. “C’mon, Sweetheart, let’s get you home.”
“Thanks for bringing me,” I say, pulling a water bottle from the fridge. I’m surprised to find the house awaiting my arrival: the fridge is restocked, the heat is turned up to a comfortabletemperature, and firewood has been brought in from outside and neatly stacked in the holder. “You did all of this?” I ask, turning back to Beau.
“Figured it would help you unwind a little more if you didn’t have to worry about it.”
“Beau—”
“You don’t have to say anything, Sweetheart.” He lifts his hand from the white marbled countertop and chews his bottom lip. “I wanted to make sure you had what you needed. I know dealing with the family and going back and forth has been hard on you. Just wanted to lighten the load a little.”
I don’t know what I would’ve done without this man for the last nine months. He has been my rock and my shelter in the hurricane. He has made sure I’m taken care of when I don’t remember to take care of myself. When I’m too busy worrying about what comes next in the list of things to handle, what someone in the family needs, what I can do to continue the search for Nick…Beau worries about me.
Our fingertips graze on the island and the feeling draws my gaze up to his when a charge spreads across my skin. The feeling is something I haven’t felt since…Nick. And from the look on Beau’s face, I know he feels it, too.
“I should…I should go.” Beau rips his gaze from mine, pulling his hand away to rub the back of his neck. “If you need anything, you know how to get ahold of me.” Without giving me a chance to respond, he bolts out of the kitchen and straight out the front door.
When the door closes, I finally allow myself to breathe.
I pour scalding water from the kettle into a mug filled with lemon juice and honey. Pouring the rest of the water down the drain, I bring the mug to my lips and inhale, letting the aroma fill my senses. The sweetness of the honey mixed with the acid from the lemon juice creates a warm, harmonious scent. Before I take a sip, there’s a knock at the front door.
When I open the door, my heart stalls. Beau stands in the doorway. His hands have a death grip on the frame and his gaze raises to meet mine. There’s something in his green eyes I’ve never seen before, or maybe I’ve never noticed: want, need, desperation…A mix of all three? Whatever you want to call it, the heat in his gaze makes my skin flush.
“Hi.” My word comes out more like a question. What is he doing here?
“Nina.” It comes out strangled. His hands flex on the frame.
“Beau.” Before I can fully get his name past my lips, he steps inside and his mouth is on mine. I don’t know what I was expecting, but I don’t think it was this…Or maybe it was. I don’t know. All I know is his kiss ignites a fire inside me that was dampened a long time ago.
His tongue strokes mine as he reaches out to close the door with one hand, the other hugging my waist to keep me as close as possible. He bends slightly, sliding his hands under my ass and lifting me off my feet. My legs wrap around his waist, and he carries me through the house in a frenzy.
Beau sets me on the island, and I gasp when his mouth trails down my jaw, nipping at the sensitive skin behind my ear.
“Fuck.” Beau rips himself away from me and takes two large steps back. “Fuck, Nina. I—I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I—” His green eyes meet mine before he scrubs a hand down his face.
“Don’t apologize,” I say, stepping down from the counter. Two of his steps equal three of mine as I cross the room. He tries to take another step back, but I reach out for him, pulling him back to me. “Beau,” I whisper, hands gripping the front of his sherpa-lined jacket.
Warm hands cradle the sides of my neck, his face so close to mine I can smell the mint on his breath, mingling with his cologne, and it’s intoxicating. His eyes remain closed as his tongue darts out to wet his plump lips, biting down on the bottom one.
“Nina.” He groans. “You gotta tell me you don’t want this.”
“I can’t.”
His forehead rubs against mine as his face contorts almost in agony. He says my name again. Green eyes open to meet mine, thumbs grazing across the skin of my cheeks before his right traces my lips. Eyes heavy with want, he groans when I tug him another step forward, his hips pressing against mine.
Fuck.
We are toeing a dangerous line, and if we cross…He has to know I can’t offer myself to him. Not wholly. Not now, and maybe not ever. But for tonight…
“I can’t promise you anything, Beau,” I whisper. “I can’t promise you tomorrow or the next day, but I can promise you tonight.”
“Say it,” he demands, his lips ghosting over mine. “Tell me what you want, Davina.”
“I want you.”
His mouth covers mine in a bruising kiss, all teeth and tongue, as his fingers grip my jaw. His kiss is different than what I’m used to, what I know, and it offers a different spark than the ones I shared with my late husband. The guilt begins to settle in already and we haven’t done anything.
