Page 50 of Begin Again
“Nina—”
“I heard you, Elizabeth,” I say without looking back. “I heard you.”
Because it’s a Sunday morning, Beau and I will be the only ones in the station other than the one deputy who is officially on duty. Pulling into the parking lot, Beau climbs out of his SUV wearing civilian clothes—jeans and a maroon button-up—but his badge still clings to his hip. I can see it from here. I park next to himand before I can even turn off my car, he opens the door, like he has every time we’ve been together lately. I can’t remember the last time someone opened the door for me who wasn’t hired to do so.
“Thank you,” I say, taking his hand and stepping down from the driver’s seat. He closes the door and motions for me to lead the way inside.
“Get any sleep?” Beau asks, opening the station door.
“Did you?”
We both know the answer.
“Hi, guys!” Deputy Johnson calls from his desk in the corner of the bullpen.
I stifle a yawn and wave toward him, walking straight to Beau’s office.
“You want a coffee?” Beau asks, earning an enthusiastic nod from both meandJohnson. “I wasn’t asking you, Johnson. I was asking her.”
“Well, I thought if you were offering…”
Beau rolls his eyes, and I can’t help but chuckle, leaning against the wall outside the locked office. The sheriff grumbles to himself, pouring three cups of coffee and walking one over to Johnson. “Not one word,” he mumbles when he greets me with my cup.
“I wasn’t gonna say a thing.” I bite down on my lips, trying to hide a smirk. I’ve enjoyed my time with the sheriff and his deputies, despite the reasonwhywe’re together. They are like a breath of fresh air compared to the stifling fog inside my house.
“The chopper is out,” Beau says from behind me when we walk into the office.
That’s news to me. I thought everyone was taking the day off.
Beau closes the door and comes to sit at his desk. “The guys wanted something to do, so they went ahead of us to see what they could find.”
“Find anything?”
“Nothing unusual.”
Of course not.
Beau keeps talking, but I don’t hear him. I’m too busy racking my brain for any information over the past ten years that could help us find Nick. When we sold the old Haven house four years ago and moved, it put us further off the grid, which we love, but also means there are any number of places he could’ve gone, and we’ve combed through almost all of them.
“Nina.” Beau sighs, catching my attention again. “We need to talk about something.”
“Isn’t that what we’ve been doing?”
Beau tries not to roll his eyes, sipping his coffee before he cracks his knuckles and plants folded hands on the desk. “It’s been a week, Nina...”
“I’m aware.”
“…and it’s still pretty cold at night and conditions on some of these mountains are less than optimal. We have to be realistic about what we’re going to find.” Beau clears his throat when I don’t say anything. “We may be walking into a recovery, not a rescue.”
Despite knowing this was coming, hearing the words doesn’t hurt any less. I don’t want to hear that they think Nick is gone—not just gone missing butgone. They haven’t found anything pointing to that and I know he’s not gone…He can’t be.
“Beau, he’s not dead.”
“Nina, we need to be realistic—”
“Youjuststarted looking for him! You are not giving up on him. Not yet. You need more money? More resources? Fine. Tell me what you need, and I’ll make it fucking happen. But I don’t want to hear any more excuses. You have a lot of time to make up and a lot of ground to fucking cover. We are not giving up on him.”
Beau doesn’t say anything, only takes a deep breath, maintaining his composure.
