Page 49 of Begin Again
“Missing. Has been since either Saturday or Sunday, the guys aren’t completely sure.”
“Nina—”
“While you’ve been too busy screwing little whores in the office, he has been god knows where fordays.”
Beau straightens in his chair. “And why areyoutelling me this now?”
“Because I had no idea! Because not a single one of them picked up the damn phone until last night to tell me. They’ve been off on their own trying to find him without any help from you guys—the ones who can do something about it.”
Beau curses under his breath.
“You want my advice?” I ask, waiting until I have his full attention again. “Find my husband or find a new job, Sheriff.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
April 2028
I CLOSE MY EYES for a brief moment, pulling myself up on one of the kitchen island barstools. It has been a long two and a half days of sunup-to-well-past-sundown searches resulting innothing. Even after the search parameters were extended, there have been no signs of Nick. This morning is the first time since Wednesday night we haven’t gathered to continue the search. Beau told everyone to stay home, we’d regroup tomorrow after some time to rest and recoup.
Our house has been filled with people—family, friends, police, searchers—but I still feel alone. There’s a gaping hole where Nick should be, and it’s only getting worse as more time ticks by. I’m doing my best not to think the worst. Not to let the nightmares win. But every day, that little voice in the back of my mind gets a little louder.
It’s been a week since Nick went missing, and three days since the police finally started their search. Our house has become the official headquarters of the search party. Beau wanted to start within our immediate radius because no one had any other ideas of where to start. Even when I pointed out Nick’s hiking shoes were missing, Beau was skeptical of changing the course. We don’t know which trail he went to—there are at least seven within a twenty-mile radius of us—and if he is trying tofind his way back home from one of the trails nearby, at least rescuers would find him.
Every morning before we leave the house to pick up where we ended the day before, Beau begs me to stay behind. On the off chance Nick shows up, I should be home. I should be waiting for him. Every day, I say no. I refuse to sit around doing nothing while my husband is missing. And every day, Beau meets mynowith a resounding sigh before he rolls his eyes and opens the passenger door of his SUV, grumbling on his way to the other side. Sheriff Beau Turner is stuck with me whether he likes it or not.
Sitting at the kitchen island, the coffee mug is hot in my hands when I lift the rim to my lips and take a long sip of the burning liquid. The heat trails its way down my system, warming parts of me still cold from being out in the elements the past few days. Setting it back down on the marbled counter, I open my eyes to find my adopted sister, Elizabeth, standing on the other side of the island. Her brown eyes are full of pity.
“Stop looking at me like that,” I say.
“Like what?” Elizabeth asks.
“That.”
The same way everyone looks at me lately and I hate it. The only person who hasn’t been treating me like I might break any second is Beau, but I think he’s scared to. I don’t want anyone’s pity. I want my husband. I want my best friend back.
“Everyone looks at me like that. I don’t need you doing it, too.”
“Nin, I know you want to find Nick—we all do—but you can’t find him if you’re not taking care of yourself. You should rest.”
“Rest?” I scoff. “Elizabeth, how can I rest? My husband is out there! Who knows where he is or if he’s hurt or lost or…”
“Or what, Nina?”
I refuse to say it. I refuse to believe Nick is dead. He can’t be. We haven’t been able to fix things…I haven’t been able to fix things.
“We’re going to find him, okay?” Elizabeth reaches her hand out toward mine, but I pull away. “But please…You’re not going to be any help to Nick or Beau if you don’t take care of yourself.”
Tears begin to blur my vision. “This is all my fault.”
“Your fault? Nina, why would you say that? This is not your fault.”
“We had a fight right before he left.” I sigh. “I can’t help but think that maybe if he wouldn’t have gone off alone if we didn’t—”
“Nina.” Elizabeth cuts me off. “A fight doesn’t make this your fault.”
It only makes it partly my fault.
I take a final drink of my coffee before pushing the mug toward her. “I have to go. I’m meeting Beau.”
