Emily:Jake sends me a new apartment listing almost every day. It’s sort of adorable.
Sam:Excuse me while I go throw up.
Emily:Someday someone is going to sweep you off your feet and I’m just going to sit back and laugh and enjoy the show.
Sam:Until then, I’ll keep enjoying your show. Dad called me last night in a panic after you made out with seven different guys in a single episode. I had to talk him off a ledge.
Emily:Oh god.
Emily:I saw him driving around in his squad car earlier and I just knew he was avoiding me. I waved from across the street and he pretended not to see, the little sneak.
Emily:I’ll swing by Mom’s shop at lunch to see what sort of groveling this requires. He’s so fragile. Men.
Emily:Actually, I should probably go call Jake too.
Emily:Miss you!
Sam:Miss you too!
Winnie to Sam: I left a present on your pillow when you get home.
Sam:Oh my god. Stop hiding romance novels around my room. MY LIFE IS NOT A ROM-COM.
Winnie:Obviously not.
Winnie:It’s a Western.
Sam to Cooper:Me again.
Sam:Just want to make sure I have the right number.
Sam:Let me know!
Jake to Sam:Nina’s being weird. I met her for coffee earlier. I can tell when she’s scheming. Do you know anything?
Sam:This number has been blocked. Try again later.
Jake:Sam. Come on. The phone doesn’t tell you when you’ve been blocked.
Jake:Stop being an ass.
Sam:Payback’s a bitch.
Jake:I blocked you one time!
Sam:And it was the wrong fucking time.
Sam:Em’s super excited about the move, btw. It’s all she can talk about. Don’t mess it up.
Jake:I won’t.
Jake:But do you? Know anything about Nina?
Sam:The number you have dialed is disconnected. Please hang up and try again.
Jake:Oh for fuck’s sake. Forget it.
Sam to Nina:It’s been over two weeks and I haven’t heard from Cooper. Are you sure you gave me the right number?