Sam to Winnie:OMFG you need to take away my phone.
Sam:I already brought up being naked.
Sam:And typed LOL. Like actually. LOL.
Sam:He hasn’t responded.
Sam:If you don’t hear from me again, it’s because I’ve found a nice hole in which to shrivel up and die from sheer mortification.
Winnie:You brought up being naked?!?! I need context.
Sam:Does it really matter? I must be stopped.
Winnie:It does.
Winnie: I need to know exactly how to make fun of you for this when I see you later.
Sam:I hate you.
Winnie:Love you too, boo.
Emily to Sam:YOU ARE A LIFESAVER!!
Emily:I love you. I love you. I love youuuuuu. The budget you sent is perfect. I’m trying to find an assistant to hire out in LA when I get there. Can we chat later to work on a potential base salary? I’m so out of my element here.
Emily:PS—when are you finally going to quit your job and just admit you want to run this company with me?
Emily:Please.
Emily:Pretty pretty please with a delicious maraschino cherry on top?
Sam:You can’t afford me.
Sam:But I will work on the base salary with you. Add it to my bill. You’re racking up some serious consulting charges here.
Emily:Exactly! That’s why I want to pay you with ownership shares. 50/50? What do you say?
Sam:Em. Don’t even joke about that. Your shares are the most valuable asset you have.
Emily:What if I think you’re the most valuable asset I have?
Emily:I want to do this with you, officially. I want to do this together.
Emily:Sam?
Emily:SAM!
Emily:Don’t you dare ghost me right now!
Sam:Relax. It’s been like five minutes. And you know how affection makes me break out in hives. I had to go find some Benadryl.
Emily:Hilarious.
Sam:I know.
Sam:How’s the move going, by the way? Don’t think I didn’t notice that casual LA name-drop back there. I can’t believe it’s only two months away.
Emily:I know what you’re doing. This isn’t over. But I’m going to let it slide, you deflection wizard, because… AHHH! Two months!!! Isn’t that insane? I really can’t believe it.