Page 56 of Keep Me Still
As Skylar passes me, he leans in and whistles low. “Guess the honeymoon’s over, huh?”
I wait until they’re out of earshot and adjust my bag so it blocks their view. “I was going to tell you.” Except I was hoping I wouldn’t have to.
“Tell me what?” she says, leaning away from me in a way that causes me actual physical pain. “That you turned down God knows how many scholarships and a chance at your freaking dream towalk onat SoCal?”
Yeah, it sounds kind of nuts. Because it is.
I rub my eyes like I have a headache, but really I’m just stalling for time and trying to think. Maybe I should just lay it all out there, Layla’s Aunt Kate be damn. But then the devil on my shoulder whispers, “Tell her just enough.”
Stepping close enough to smell her sweet scent, I inhale sharply and gather the courage and breath I need to explain. “Don’t be mad, okay?”
Layla doesn’t move or blink or do anything to indicate if she’ll be mad or not so I go on.
“I had already turned down a bunch of scholarships, planning to go pro with a team out of Ecuador. Then I found out you were moving out here on your own, and I was…worried. And I wanted another chance. So I called and tried to go back on turning them down, but they’d already given the scholarship to someone else. So I came as a walk on.” I shrug like it’s not a big deal at all, like it doesn’t tell her exactly how crazy-stalker-ass in love I am with her. “In the spring I’ll get another formal try out, and next year I’ll be on scholarship. I get some assistance because of my dad’s military service, so my tuition is covered. I worked a lot in Colorado and saved up. I can pay for the dorm, fees, and books until summer semester.” She’s biting her lip and tears are welling up in her eyes faster than I can figure out how to make them stop. “Layla,” I say softly.
“So it wasn’t fate after all then,” she says quietly, looking down at the program as I hand it back to her. “It was planned.”
“Hell yeah it was fate,” I tell her, reaching out to lift her chin and look into her eyes, hoping to keep those damn tears from falling. “It was fate that my dad got moved to Hope Springs and you were there, like you were waiting for me. It was probably even because of fate that you missed the bus and needed a ride that first day. Or maybe that was my fault. And it was damn sure fate that made you see me as someone worthy of your time and attention, because I can’t imagine what the hell else it could possibly be.”
A smile curves her full lips and I exhale in relief. Jesus. Disaster fucking averted. For now, anyways. “The last two weren’t fate, Landen,” she tells me, coming closer and letting me wrap an arm around her. “The last two were all you.”
She lifts up on her tiptoes and gives me a gentle brush of a kiss that leaves me hungry for more. I deepen it, sliding my tongue against her teeth until she lets me in. Dropping my bag, I wrap both arms around her and kiss her long and hard.
Whistles and catcalls ring out around us as the rest of the team comes out of the locker room, but I could give a shit. Let the jealous bastards look. But Layla pulls back and grins sheepishly up at me, her cheeks going pink. Her swollen lips and glazed eyes have me wanting to grab her up and run Superman-style to her dorm, but we have plans to hit the diner with Skylar and Corin. And I promised my girl a milkshake.
So I huff out my disappointment, pick up my bag, and offer her my arm as we walk towards our roommates. “Ready for that milkshake?”
“I’m not going to be able to hold my food down if you two are going to be eye-fucking each other all through dinner,” Skylar says before she can reply.
“Sucks for you,” I tell him with a shrug. Layla giggles softly beside me. We’re following Skylar and Corin down University Avenue towards the diner when Layla tenses beside me. My body is so attuned to hers that I almost grab her, anticipating the spasms, but glancing over I can see that she’s trying to look casual. She’s staring straight ahead. Her shoulders are stiff and her mouth’s trying to turn down in that way it does just before she starts chewing her lip off.
“What’s wrong?” I whisper into her ear.
A tiny shiver pushes through her, and I grin because I love that I’ve always had that effect on her. “W-What if I’d been awful to you when we saw each other again? What if I’d just shut you out, like before? What if you gave it all up for nothing?”
But she hadn’t. “That’s why I came. You could shut me out from across the country, but good luck shutting me out when we live in the same zip code.”
I expect her to laugh, but she stops walking and turns to face me as soon as we reach the diner. Round, stormy eyes wide with concern look up at me…and I nearly fall in. “But you gave up your dream. Why would you give up your dream of playing overseas to come here and risk me being a total bitch?”
“Hey,” I say sharply, nodding at Skylar to go on in without us. “Don’t ever say that about my girl. My girl could never be a bitch to anyone.”
“Landen, I’m serious,” she says, growing impatient with my stalling techniques.
“Shit, Layla, what do you want me to say? I missed you. I wanted another chance, and I took a risk. Because that’s what you do when you care about someone.” I shrug like she isn’t the first person besides my mom I’ve ever cared about. “I couldn’t let things end the way they did. I needed you to know how I felt, and I knew once time passed and we both got over how things went down, there would still be that…that,thingbetween us. Those feelings. We weren’t ready to be what we needed to be for each other in high school, or the universe wasn’t ready for it. But universe be damned, because I’m done fighting the way I feel about you.”
“And how do you feel about me?” she asks, shifting her weight from one foot to the other, which draws my attention to her legs sheathed in tight denim.
“Hmm, how do I feel,” I murmur, remembering those smooth bare legs wrapped around my waist as I sank myself into her luscious heat.
“Landen!”
Smiling, I look up and pin her with my predatory glare. “I feel like I could buy you milkshakes forever and ever if it will make you happy. A lifetime supply, on me.”
The correct response would be for her to laugh, to nudge me and say she might take me up on my offer. But Layla’s never done what I expect. She winces like I’ve said something hurtful. Then she swallows hard and forces a smile onto her face. “Corin and Skylar are waiting.”
“Whoa. Let them wait. Tell me what the hell is wrong.”
“Nothing,” she whispers, and I can hear the effort it takes her voice to leap over the lump in her throat.
