Page 107 of Safety Net
She shook her head and exchanged eyeliner for blush. "I'm all set. Doyouneed anything?"
"No, I'm good."
She gave me a sympathetic smile. "Your hands are shaking."
I tucked my hands behind my back and moved close enough so I could lean against the wall behind her mirror. “They tend to do that.”
"Big night for you," she said, understanding.
"For you, too."
"Yeah, but I'm used to performing."
"You don't get nervous anymore?"
She laughed. "Oh, I feel like I'm going to faint. I always feel like I'm going to faint."
My eyes widened. "You don't look it."
She didn’t have a hair out of place or a wrinkle in her outfit. Her voice was as steady and soothing as ever. "It's because my belief that I'm going to crush it is stronger than the need to rid my stomach of breakfast."
"Wow, any tips?" I asked.
"She'll keep the best ones to herself," Jack warned from where he stood in the doorway with his gym bag slung over his shoulder.
"You're late," Halle noted, losing her smile.
"And whose fault is that?" he asked.
She bit the inside of her cheek, something unspoken settled between them. I knew in an instant I was intruding, so I pushed off the wall to make my exit.
"Lincoln said he'll be a little late," Jack told me. We switched places. I lingered in the doorway while he went next to Halle.
"You saw him today?" I asked, my heart jumped in my chest.
"Yeah, I came in early this morning," Jack said. "He'd forgotten to seal his paint job, so he called me to finish it. "
Halle and I exchanged looks of surprise.
"What?" he asked.
"You two aren't exactly buddy-buddy," Halle said. "I'm not sure what's more surprising: him calling you or you showing up. "
"You don't know the ins and outs of all my relationships," he countered.
"How was he?" I interrupted before they got too deep into bickering. "How is he?"
"Running on fumes. And guilt." It looked like hard work for Jack to pull his gaze away from Halle, but he eventually managed.
"Don't worry about him, though," he said. "He's fine. And he really wants to see you."
I nodded numbly. Grateful for the assurance.
"I'll let you two get ready." I did my best to smile. "Break a leg."
There were still things to do before we opened the doors for seating. I'd have to wait a little longer to talk to Lincoln. I looked at my phone every few minutes and watched the door of the theatre so much my neck started to ache.
Once they set the stage and patrons filtered in, I decided to stop looking and waiting and focus on being present. My music was going to be played in front of an audience. Our musicians were already in the pit warming up. The conductor was at their stand with the sheet music. I pressed my shaking fingers to my chest, closing my eyes for a second as I took deep breaths. This was the finish line, and amidst all the anxiety, there was a comforting promise of an ending. Regardless of how this turned out, I'd survived to the end. And a smile played on my lips at the thought.
