Page 34 of Dirty Little Secret
“Yeah, I’m like him.” He pulled his head up to look at me. “And what were you good at? I wonder how I’m like you.”
“Um—I made okay grades.” I had no idea what I’d been good at back then. In my opinion, I had never been much of a success at anything.
But then Kane spoke up, “You remember me telling you that your mother was really good at writing stories, don’t you, Fox?”
“Oh, yeah!” Fox patted me on the back. “Dad said that the English teacher read his class a story that you’d written. It was a short story about fairies and dragons, and it was really good, he said.”
I looked at Kane in surprise. I recalled writing the story, but I didn’t remember anything about it being read to a class by the English teacher. “When did this happen?”
Kane smiled. “After you left. Mrs. Stubbing, like the rest of the staff and students, might I add, felt out of sorts when you just didn’t show up to school again. The teachers said you’d registered and were just as surprised as the rest of us when you never came back. No one knew where you went. No one but that neighbor, at least, and she only ever told me about what had happened. And I only told my family.”
For a moment I was puzzled. “So, who knows that I’m Fox’s mother now?”
Kane and Fox looked at each other, then at me before Fox said, “Everyone.”
Blinking, feeling like I might be about to pass out, I leaned back on the sofa and fanned myself with my hand. “My secret has been out all these years, and I’ve been hiding out in Chicago for no reason at all? God, my life is completely different than I thought it was.”
Fox laughed. “Yeah, it is. So, maybe coming to my school and meeting my teachers and friends ain’t such a bad idea after all, Mom.”
Mom.
Man, that felt weird. But a good weird. Tousling Fox’s hair, all I could do was smile. “Yeah, it ain’t such a bad idea after all. I may as well get over myself. It was my parents’ idea to run away from it all, and to try to prevent anyone from ever knowing the trouble I got myself into. I never cared as much about that as they did.”
Kane’s expression turned serious. “About that. How’s your relationship with them, Zandra?” he asked.
“Strained.” I shrugged. “Nearly non-existent.” I ran my hand over Fox’s cheek. “I mostly hate them for what they made me do.”
His lips pulled up to one side. “Dad says that it’s not good to hate anyone.”
“It’s not,” I agreed. “But I do hate them just the same. It hurt when I had to give you away, Fox. And it was their fault that I had to do it.” I couldn’t stop staring at him, wanting to know him—my flesh and blood. He was just as beautiful as I’d always imagined he’d be.
“Yeah,” he said with a nod. “But I was given to my aunt and uncle and dad, so it all turned out okay.”
He was right. But that had been some big crazy fluke. There’s no way my parents had known that it had all worked out that way, and I didn’t even know if they would’ve allowed Fox to go to Kane and his family, had they known. “I’ll work on it. But only for you, Fox.”
“Good.” He rested his head on my shoulder again. “’Cause one day I’d like to meet them too, Mom.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that.” I looked at Kane, trying to tell him with my eyes that that was a terrible idea.
He and I would have to have a conversation about my parents and their archaic beliefs. In their opinion, our child was an abomination in the eyes of God. He represented a horrible sin that never should’ve happened. They would never be the doting grandparents I was sure Fox was used to.
Kane’s hand ran up and down my arm. “That’s something to talk about another day. Today, you’ve got your mom, Fox. Let’s take a while to let that all sink in and to let you get to know her. And she’ll get to know us too. We’re all kind of new to each other, you know. We need to take the time to settle into this new family.”
I had no idea how much time it would take to get comfortable with this new situation. With my son in my life now, I worried about my chosen career as a waitress. It didn’t seem to be the most motherly thing to be doing. I had to make a lot of changes if I wanted to be the mother that the boy deserved.
His father was a doctor. I didn’t want him to have to say his mom was a waitress at a nightclub.
Change had been in the air, and now it was thick with it. So thick, it made it hard to breathe.
