Page 46 of Spooked
“Not me.” I emphasise the words.
“I can’t take the chance. Or, not immediately. Perhaps we could try a long-distance relationship…”
The door opening interrupts her. “Here’s a charger!” the nurse announces triumphantly. She’s even so helpful as to plug the phone into the socket and hand the now-charging device to Maeve.
“Thank you,” Maeve tells her.
Taking her cue, the nurse leaves.
Picking up where we were interrupted, I ask, “Maeve, have you ever just lived?” As she goes to speak, I place my hand over her lips. “You were just a teenager when you learned you were going to lose your mom. Then, not long after she died, your gramma left you, too. Seems to me you’ve never had a chance to be free and just be. Why don’t you…”
I’ve lost her attention as her phone beeps, coming back to life. She holds up a finger, indicating she wants me to be quiet.
Knowing it’s useless for me to continue while she catches up with her life, I let her tap in her code, then shift to her emails. As she continues to read, I stare at the wall. I can’t let her slip through my fingers. How can I convince her to stay with me?
“No!” she suddenly exclaims, throwing her phone down onto the bed. She places her head in her hands, and a sob comes from her mouth.
Guiltily, knowing I’m invading her privacy, I pick up the device and skim through the last email she was reading. In essence, it says she’s exceeded her agreed-upon week’s leave, has failed to contact her company despite numerous communication attempts, and therefore her employment has been terminated.I deserve to burn in hell for the pleasure that sweeps through me.
Though it goes against every part of me, I offer her hope. “They can’t do this under the circumstances. You were in a coma. Once they know, they’ll reconsider. We’ll get Alex onto this as well.”
She rallies. “You’re right. I’ll message back and explain.” And now I have to try to be supportive as she types out a lengthy reply. By the way she’s biting her lip, I can tell she’s choosing her words carefully, and making her case as best she can. Then she says the words that send a dagger right into my heart. “I can’t afford to lose my job, Hound. My whole life’s in LA.”
Her life’s in LA. She speaks as though there’s nothing for her here. As though the connection we feel is nothing. Although today’s been the first real interaction we’ve had, I feel that through everything we’ve experienced, the horrors, the supernatural, people returning from the dead, the thought we could have been facing death together meant as much as having spent a lifetime with each other. What does it matter what background you have or where you grew up, when you’ve got to know the deep inner essence of the person you’re with? All the rest are niceties that can be learned in time.
Moments ago, she was afraid I’d disappear. Now it seems I’ve got no ongoing place in her life. I’m wishing that I could say I’m having a hallucination, but this is one nightmare from which I’ll never wake up.
I thought she was my one.
She obviously does not.
Fuck it.I glance at her, but her attention’s not on me. It’s on that fucking email app on her phone. She’s biting her lip and staring as though she can make a response appear with just her will. That the answer has become the most important thing to her is obvious as she doesn’t seem to notice when I leave the bed, nor when I pull my crutches toward me.
“I’m going to go get something to eat.”
She barely acknowledges my words, nor looks up as I leave.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
MAEVE
Of course, the company doesn’t respond immediately. I’m a fool to think they will. Nevertheless, that doesn’t stop me from refreshing the app, hoping a new email will appear. Surely they’ll understand and make allowances as to why I’ve been out of touch for so long? There was no one to contact them. The emergency contact listed on my medical records was my one living relative, Siobhan. When originally asked, I had no idea who else to name and had forgotten to change it since then. It shows what a sad person I am, that even now I can think of no one I could name in her stead.
Except for Hound.
Only, I glance around the room. He’s left me. Or more truthfully, I drove him away. Throwing my phone down on the bed, I realise how stupid and unfair I’ve been. So intent on trying to keep my job, I hadn’t realised how cold I was coming over to him. Sure, my drive to survive since I originally left Tucson was deeply ingrained in me. But what does a life mean without someone to share it with?
If my job is still open, what do I gain? I’ll go back to my lonely existence, living only to go to work every day, feeling I’m contributing to the world by sorting out other people’s finances.Accountants have a reputation for being boring, and that sums me up perfectly. My job and life in LA is safe. Stepping into the unknown, putting my happiness in someone else’s hands, demands a leap of faith, one I’m not sure I’m strong enough to take.
Having met Hound, though, is survival enough? What would my life have in store for me were I to throw caution to the wind and stay in Tucson to see whether a relationship between me and Hound would work? Or, seeing that he’s left me alone, have I lost the chance?
My scalp itches. Absent-mindedly, I scratch it, realising just how long it’s been since I’ve taken a shower. Damn near four weeks in a coma, and I haven’t been out of this bed. As I smooth my hands down the strands, I realise my hair’s a tangled mess.
Hound never mentioned that.
Suddenly, I’m embarrassed. I must look like a total wreck.Yet he still kissed me, held me, touched me as if I were his world.
A new urgency rises, and I press the call button for the nurse. When she appears, I ask to be disconnected from the monitors so I can go to the bathroom and get tidied up. When she knows my mind is made up, she takes all the sensors off my body and helps me sit up. Then she steps back, her hands at the ready, as I gingerly stand up.
