Page 40 of Easy Reunion
Chapter 17
Kelsey
His sharply indrawn breath seems to still everything in Audubon Park. I feel just like I did that day at graduation—like all the eyes are on me. The Frisbee players seem to have stopped; the little girl with the kite is avidly watching.
And I know Ry’s staring. I can feel it even if I’m not returning the look in kind. Then I hear laughter, lots of laughter. And flashes of memories make me begin to shake.
Oh, my God! She’s running. I’m surprised the stage isn’t collapsing.
Who knew a monster could run that fast?
It’s called ambling by a beast, you moron.
Jesus, do you see the way that fat’s jiggling? I wonder if she ends up with bruises.
Flashes of the comments that were flung at me along with the jeering laughter as I ran off stage at our high school graduation race through my head. It’s too much. I push myself to my feet. “I thought I could…with you. I’d give just about anything to be able to…God!”
I don’t make it a step before a hand wraps around my ankle. The next thing I know, I’m flailing backward helplessly, windmilling my arms. Shit, this is going to hurt. Tears prick my eyes as I think about how embarrassed I’m going to be. So be it. It’s not like I’ve never been humiliated in front of this man before.
Instead, I find myself caught in a strong pair of arms. “Where were you going?” Ry’s voice is guttural.
I twist and turn in his arms. “Away. I can’t hurt you, but I can’t… I’m not ready…”
“Then tell me that, damnit. I’ll back off. But don’t run away from me. Not when I don’t know if it will be another fifteen years before I can find you again to say I’m sorry.” His voice sounds broken. “And I am, Kelsey. So, so sorry.” Ry lays me down on the blanket, and I hazard a look up at him. Fear, determination, and something I can’t quite name chase each other across his face. He aligns his long, lean body against mine. My heartbeat picks up in anticipation.
Only Ry’s been able to do this—take me from seeking the clouds to flat on my back in the span of a heartbeat. I’m not sure I want to understand why.
“What are you doing?” I whisper. My hands grip his shoulders as he leans over me, intent in his every movement.
“This,” he murmurs. His head lowers down, his lips fitting to mine. His broad shoulders block out the sun more effectively than the trees above us. I let out a gasp before wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him closer.
Can salvation and forgiveness be exchanged in a kiss? Does a perfect day wipe out the pain etched in my memory of a horrific one? No, but maybe it demonstrates life isn’t always going to disappoint me. I’ve been so on guard protecting myself from the past I suffered, the scars in my mind and heart, I’m scared to allow myself the reward being offered to me.
As Ry’s lips whisper over my face and down the side of my neck, I rake my nails through his thick hair. “It’s never been like this,” I gasp. My limited experience before Ry wasn’t altogether unsatisfying, but it never made my head spin. A kiss never made me forget the world turning around me at a million miles an hour and coming to a sudden halt. It never had the power to sweep my legs out from under me when I was already weightless.
It never stopped the ache I live with in my head and my heart.
“You make me need, Kels,” his voice rasps in my ear, sending shivers down my spine. “You make me wish.”
“For what?” My lips trace the shell of his ear. I let out a small gasp at his next words.
“For a moment in time where I could make you forget the pain I caused you.” Brushing my hair away from my face, he mutters more to himself, “To not be terrified to show you the man I am.”
He rolls until I’m lying on top of him. Even as I brace my elbows on either side of his head, he wraps his arms around my back, holding me in place. “I would have you lie on me like this forever if I could,” he says tenderly.
A cloud of doubt passes through my mind. “I wouldn’t have been able to years ago.” I start to push up and away, but his arms tighten.
“I want you to hear me. I went to that reunion looking for you.” At my dubious look, he tightens his arms and continues. “I spent the entire plane ride preparing myself for how I was going to handle meeting your husband, hearing about your kids.” At my shocked gasp, he groans. “Yeah. So, don’t for a minute doubt I didn’t think of you as a woman who would be desirable and sexual before I found out who you were. I guess I’m just damned lucky some man hasn’t been able to win your heart. Or have they generally been idiots who can’t see past their noses?” He uses his to brush against mine, setting off sparks between us.
My fingers begin to trace his brows above his sunglasses. Even as I’m absentmindedly stroking him, my mind wonders if I’m not stronger for the agony of what I lived through. Otherwise, would I appreciate the simple perfection of a moment like this as something to be cherished? “I refuse to comment either way,” I declare resolutely.
Ry’s shoulders arch off the ground, he laughs so hard. “I think that is your answer.”
“Maybe. At least that’s been my experience.”
He jackknifes us both up into a sitting position. “You haven’t had good relationships?” The note of concern starts picking away at the next lock on the next door of my heart.
Damn him.
